its a gut-wrenching feeling putting your baby's life into somebody elses hands no matter how qualified they are but i think as a mum sometimes we have to force ourselves to be strong and make decision without letting our emotions take over (as ridiculously impossible as that is!) if its something that will help your childs quality of life then i think your making the right choice, being so young can also be a good thing for your baby's emotions because they cant grasp the situation. as long as they see that you are ok as they fall asleep then they will feel secure. my son didnt get to have his operation until he was 2 years old and the strange stuff around him freaked him out a little bit but the recovery was amazing! they say the younger they are the quicker and easier the healing is. there were lots of older children in his ward that were up all night crying and not able to sleep and i thanked god my boy was young enough to be ok with it. you are the one that will need the support emotionally so if you do make the decision to go ahead with it take someone like your mum and partner or close friend to keep you company and be strong for you. :hugs: its a very hard part of motherhood x