Thanks for the tips - have had some success with getting her to help, she helped put the veg and chicken in a pie for me the other night, that kept her happy. I think I need to gauge my mood, if I am tired and grumpy, then it is just better for me not to cook or wash up if I can avoid it. When I am like that I tend to make mistakes and not be on the "ball" enough to keep us both safe.