I think having a good dentist is the key!
I have been seeing the same once since I was 12 and he's great with my kids. I took them with me for all my check ups when they were babies and they'd have a ride in the chair. Once they were about 2 years old he would "count their teeth " and give them a sticker. All very positive.
Sean is now almost 10 and has never needed any work, but Kate has had a couple of fillings and a damaged tooth pulled out. I imagine it could have been quite traumatic for her in different circumstances but she has never hesitated to hop in that chair and has never complained.
Get recommendations from people and find a dentist you are comfortable with.