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Thread: tanties

  1. #1

    Default tanties

    I think Yasin has started throwing little tantrums. If I take my mobile from him (or anything else he thinks he should have) he screams and cries. If I offer to exchange it for a suitable toy he will just throw whatever I offer him as hard as he can, even if its a toy he usually likes, and keep screaming. I'm not sure what to do because I think he's too young for any kind of time out and distraction techniques only seem to work about half the time. I really hate to see him sooking and upset like this. He used to be so mellow but now its his way or else!!


  2. #2

    Join Date
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    Dachlostar,

    I hear you!!

    Olivia (who used to be such a placid little chook) has been doing this for a while now, and it drives me crackers!!

    I had a read of a couple of toddler/baby books as to a solution to this and they say pretty much the same thing..........

    1. It is a stage all babies/toddlers go through
    2. Distraction is the best solution
    3. If distraction fails, pretend to ignore and stay calm but go about your business (easier said than done I reckon!)
    4. Some babies calm down if they are simply held in a cuddle quite firmly.

    For me and Olivia, distraction works best, but for us it means a change of scene totally, not just another toy ie we need to go for a walk round the garden or put some song CD's on, IYKWIM? (Mood changers!)

    I have every sympathy........it is a tiring stage.........

  3. #3

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    I found that when Emily started to do this I would either try to distract her or ignore her attempt at trying to get her own way. I actually found to begin with walking away as soon as it starts was easiest, especially if your attempt at distraction fails.

    I think if they learn that this behaviour gets no attention then it will happen less often.

    Distraction like… “Wow, did you see the truck today?” or what ever that did that they enjoyed that day is best to distract them.

    I don’t think that offering them something else is a good idea… in a way it is rewarding them for bad behaviour. I also feel that cuddling them when they are having a tantrum is not very good, as this may also be reinforcing the bad behaviour.

    Also make sure that from now on he knows that he cannot have your mobile by never letting him have it. Set your boundaries and keep them where they are, and you will find they quickly learn what they are and aren’t allowed to do. Telling them one day that they can play with it and not letting them the next can be very confusing for them.

    Good luck, I hope I have helped

    Tanya

  4. #4
    Colleen Guest

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    Yep, Jaykob does this lately and ESPECIALLY with the mobile phone & remotes...
    I do take them from him and then he cracks it but usually after a few seconds hes ok, i either cuddle him or distract him with noise or toys....
    I havent said No or anything just yet to him, do they understand that at such a young age?

    Good Luck Dachlostar!! I hope the tantrums dissapear

  5. #5
    mooshie Guest

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    Dachlostar

    I hear you, lani is also doing this.

    Usually at the line up for kinder pick up she will grab the keys out of my hand which i let her have (so she doesn't want to get down and crawl under everyone elses feet) when the time comes for me to have the keys to drive well omg lol

    firstly i say ta for keys lani and she pulls them into her, I just gently take them from her and say no mummy needs them to drive the car, and i just let her crack it lol. i usually have the keys away from her but at kinder in the line to pick up ds i have her on my hip and keys in my hand (a huge bunch which won't fit in the pocket)

    back from memory with ds when he was going through tantrums Distraction worked the best with us - he would be going off full on stamping feet and yelling and i would calmly look out the window and saw oh wow look at that huge aeroplane/bird/our dog whatever - 98% of the time the tears would stop and he would come running over and forget about all his woes lol. as for my first dd well she was a different story and nothing worked but hey we live and learn right - that is what parenthood is about

    good luck

  6. #6
    mooshie Guest

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    sorry forgot to add

    with my first dd when she was 12mths old i went to the gp for her needles and i asked the gp if babies can start the "terrible 2's" early - she looked at me with a kind smile (she is a mum of 4) and said michelle i am sorry to say it is just the beginning lol.

  7. #7

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    Hi dach like everyone has said it seems to happen sooner or later, and being prepared is great.

    Matilda started throwing "mini tantrums" at 9 months... I say mini because compared with what she does now they weren't too bad. I found they usually happened a lot more before a big developmental step. So 2-3 weeks before she started walking she would have 4-5 mini tantrums a day and 1-2 major a week.

    To me major tantrums are breath holding, going purple and being unable to gain control of her actions. So she has no idea what she is doing physically. For these I put her in her cot & go outside & cry 8-[

    For the mini ones I usually walk away and let her learn to get control of her emotions herself. Because she was so young I found it hard, but I did get at eye level and tell her what she was doing & why it wasn't desired behaviour and I would say everytime "Matilda I'm so sorry you are unhappy right now, mummy is going to walk away now but I will be here for you when you are ready for a cuddle" She usually settles in 2 minutes and we do something else.

    HTH!

  8. #8

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    Asha throws the biggest tanties out!!! If she doesn't get her own wy she will smack me and then start crying. I usually tell her off for smacking (No Asha, that is not nice, no smacking) and then walk away or put her down if I have hold of her.

    She throws herself down on the ground and then starts to scream sometimes but I keep ignoring her and go about what I have to do. She usually gives up after about 1 minute. I have put her in her cot if she keeps going and she eithers calms down because she can turn her music on or she falls asleep.

    I have done the same thing with all of my kids and still do. So yesterday when my 7 year old decided to throw a tantie in the middle fo the supermarket I told him he had better just sit down in the isle where he was and i would come and get him when I had finished and walked off. He stopped about 20 seconds later and by the time I was at the end of the isle he was back next to the trolley with a smile on his face. Persitance pays off and if you start now when he is old enough to understand then he will be so used to your reaction he probably won't worry!

    Cheers

  9. #9

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    here i was thinking my little princess was the only baby with a remote & mobile phone obsession!! she too chucks a nana if they are taken away from her - i can't see the fascination in something that does nothing when she has heaps of toys to play with - i managed to stop her interest (for the time being) in my mobile phone by calling it & she freaked out when it vibrated & rang
    i will try what you have said & see how i go at stopping her tantrums

  10. #10

    Join Date
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    Dachlostar,

    As my son is only 4 days younger (29/10) i found he does the same thing. I just find he goes for anything i have. Remote control, mobile, junk mail etc. I say "no" and when he cries i reply "you can't have it mummys using it" Normally that works or i distract him with something else or put it up until he is playing happily. As we talk to Zhai as he was able to understand what we are saying as it stimulates his verbal skills.

    I hope i have helped in some way.......

    Jenni[/b]

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