Sounds like your own resilience is at a very low level - that always makes things so much harder I hope things settle down a bit for you.
One thing that has helped with my little tantrumer, is to recognise that it's ok for her to express herself. She will learn in time a better way to do this (I hope!) and I try to keep calm (with mixed success, I must admit) to model better behaviour, but at the moment, she screams and yells and it's just noise. I try to only take action if someone or something is in harm's way when she gets physical. It doesn't stop her behaviour, it just helps me freak less.