Is there anyone who does not use Santa?

[Moi]

Thanks toomanyshoes. I just worry that my DD will spoil it for other children, whose parents won't be happy with me then. :-|

Just Me - It sounds like you are taking a similar approach to me at the moment. I am not telling DD that Santa doesn't exist, but I'm also not telling her that he does exist. My DD has also seen Santas about this year and she asks me who they are. I just tell her that they are Santa, but don't go on to say "and he's not real". One idea my DH had was to tell her that other children receive gifts from Santa but we wanted to give her gifts from ourselves. I wonder if she'll then be sad that Santa doesn't give her gifts though. The hard part for me is that we spend Christmas with DHs family and we have two nieces who are all into Christmas and Santa. So it just seems expected that our DD will also believe.

[BeautifulMadness]

I think its totally up to you and you're family, if you want use santa in that way, i think its cool. dont worry abt other parents stuff em.

[toomanyshoes]

Not to offend anyone but I treat it the same way as religion. DS always come's home asking about "god" and I explain to him that some people believe in it and others don't but both beliefs are right.

We've had to deal with the "so and so said santa isn't real" and I've explained it the same way.

[Persephone1]

It's too early for us but we're not planning on having a Santa at our Christmas celebrations. At the most we might refer to Santa in Christmas stories (like the Night Before Christmas) but he'll be a minor aspect of Christmas. We're also not religious, so Santa might be one aspect, and Jesus might be another, and together they can be "beliefs that some people have" but that we don't.

I see Santa and the Tooth Fairy in the same light - not as a "lie" as such, but as another story. I don't feel comfortable telling my son things like "Santa doesn't visit children who are bad."

I expect we'll have some opposition from peers and family, and there will be some challenges when DS works out that other families have Santa and we don't. But again, we don't follow a religion either, so we'll be having similar discussions about Jesus, etc.

[angelaartsstudent]

I don't mind if other people use Santa, but I won't be. DH and I have the belief that xmas should be based more on spending time with family and giving thanks for all the things we have - love, care, family members, a roof over our heads, enough food, health etc - than on presents.

We will be giving presents....but not a whole room full, and none from Santa.

I don't mind Santa or people using it...but I think that some people take the commercialism and gift thing a bit too far.

The only reason I wont be using Santa is that I cannot bring myself to lie to my child. DH has a totally different stance...he's against the commercialism but not against the 'lying'...he wants P to experience the magic he felt at xmas a a kid, but just without Santa...and we're not sure how to do that.

[angelaartsstudent]

PS - I am 24 and still get a santa sack from my Mum. :-P

[Just Me]

Angela - I think it is about making your own traditions that make it special. For some people that does involve Santa, but for others, it doesn't. Things like special food that you only eat at Christmas, enjoying family time together putting up the Christmas tree, what you do when you unwrap presents, how you spend Christmas day, things that you can do in the lead up to Christmas - I think it is things like that that make it special.

We do advent for our kids so for us, December is a whole month of lead up to Christmas but our advent is not about them getting a present everyday - we do activities based advent. We try and make it a bit of a festival for our kids - some days we go somewhere special, on other days we do craft or cooking or we do something for someone else. At the moment we have limited our days where we do things for others to making presents, cards and wrapping paper but as they get older, we will probably do volunteer work somewhere as a family (the kids are a bit little at the moment and I think we wouldn't be that helpful if we volunteered somewhere). We also have other things like Christmas light looking, going to Carols and a Christmas party on our Advent Calendar. We put it on the wall last weekend and the kids are already excited - each day they get an envelope with information about today's activity.

There are lots of ways to make Christmas special without Santa and without being commercial too. I think you just have to go out there and figure out what things you find special and how you want to spend it and make it something that you look forward to every year

[Moi]

DH and I have the belief that xmas should be based more on spending time with family and giving thanks for all the things we have - love, care, family members, a roof over our heads, enough food, health etc - than on presents.

Yeah that's how I feel too. I think putting an emphasis on Santa puts an emphasis on presents, but I want Christmas to be about spending time with family. I feel that Santa has become a commercial commodity. The lying doesn't bother me so much. It's more the commercialism. I also hate it when people use Santa as a threat i.e. "if you're bad you won't get any gifts this year!" My MIL says it all the time to my nieces. The thing is no matter what they do anyway they WILL always get gifts so it's a pointless threat really.

Just Me - I love your advent idea. What a great way to celebrate Christmas. I might have to steal your idea. I also like what you said about creating your own family traditions because really I guess that's what I am trying to do. Like I wasn't sure whether to get a tree or not either, which is commercial too. But I have decided you only buy a tree once and I would enjoy the tradition of decorating it with my family. I also do want to give DD gifts, just not from Santa. And I really want the day to be about spending time with family and giving rather than receiving.

[Nelle]

We're not really into Santa here either - but for me it's because of a God thing, I don't know how I feel about telling my kids God is real (which I believe) and that Santa is real (which I don't believe). But I'm totally happy to say 'what do you think' when they ask, pretty sure that's how my parents rolled. I remember saying 'I don't believe in Santa' when I was young, and my mum implying that if word got out, then Santa wouldn't bring me presents. I changed my 'official' tune to toe the line, I think this was mum's insurance against me ruining it for other kids.

[Just Me]

Thanks toomanyshoes. I just worry that my DD will spoil it for other children, whose parents won't be happy with me then. :-|

Just Me - It sounds like you are taking a similar approach to me at the moment. I am not telling DD that Santa doesn't exist, but I'm also not telling her that he does exist. My DD has also seen Santas about this year and she asks me who they are. I just tell her that they are Santa, but don't go on to say "and he's not real". One idea my DH had was to tell her that other children receive gifts from Santa but we wanted to give her gifts from ourselves. I wonder if she'll then be sad that Santa doesn't give her gifts though. The hard part for me is that we spend Christmas with DHs family and we have two nieces who are all into Christmas and Santa. So it just seems expected that our DD will also believe.

Extended family make it more difficult especially when they do things very differently and you spend Christmas day with them. I grew up knowing Santa wasn't real so I never felt sad that I didn't get presents from him. Strangely though, we still left cookies and coke for Santa though we knew that Mum and Dad ate it all after we went to bed.

I think you will find a way to do it the way you want to. You can only deal with issues as they come up - be aware of things that could create problems but some of those things may never eventuate into issues. It's just good to be prepared if they do.