Tips for coping with newborn and toddler

[Curly]

Okay...my DD will be born in 6 weeks!

My DS will be just on 2 years old.

Any tips or advice for getting through the first few weeks?

Can I care for a newborn without completely alienating my poor DS?

What do you do with the toddler when you are trying to get the newborn to have her nap?

Am I dreaming if I think I will get ANY housework done?

[dueinfeb]

Sorry, I have no constructive advice, but just wishing you luck and keeping a close eye on your thread....I think I'd be posting a similar one in January!!
Good luck and enjoy

[Arimeh]

Ahhhh its challenging..

I have found that most of the time they nap for at least an hour at the same time of the day - thats housework time.

When feeding - dvds are my best friend.

When trying to settle - I walk around with her and pretend to chase him - so he is entertained and he loves it.

But there are times where he is a terror, she won't sleep and I'm ready to tear my hair out. That's when I'm glad he is in daycare two days a week...

I'm sure you will be fine

good luck!!

[Curly]

I have found that most of the time they nap for at least an hour at the same time of the day - thats housework time.

Ah yes...DS dropped his day sleeps at 19 months - so I am kind of thinking that as long as bub is out of commission that can be our one on one time. I do struggle to get housework done now because DS is up all day long but I'm slowly figuring out how to do it and I guess it will all just get blown out the window again!

He does go to bed at 6.30pm however, by which time DH will be home to wrangle DD so I might just have to try and devote 30 mins each evening to general tidy up. DH is willing to pay for a cleaner but I don't know how comfortable I feel having a stranger in the house while I'm breastfeeding and just generally being a wreck.

Thank you so much...I just needed to have some ideas! If anyone has any more tips, keep 'em coming!

[MamaPan]

curly - get the cleaner!!! even if you use that hour a week or whatever to go for a walk with bubs...

[Chocaholic]

My DS1 turned 2 years old 11 days after my DS2 was born so it can be done!

Some things that worked for me is:
- prepare a lunchbox in the morning with snacks etc so when you are feeding bubs, you can just grab that
- I read to DS1 while feeding bubs. He sits next to me and we use it as our time since the baby is quiet
- when bubs is sleeping, I play with DS1 so we have one-on-one time. Since bubs slept so much during the first week or two, it kept DS1 from getting too jealous and allowed DS1 to accept DS2 really well as he wasn't taking all of mummy's time
- DS1 loves to help with bubs. It can be as simple as putting nappies in the bin, clothes in the wash and patting bubs on the back for burping. Just little stuff but it gets him involved. I give him heaps of praise and he lights up!
- try and get DS1 to play in front of you with toys so you can talk to him when you are looking after bubs
- have a favourite DVD close to hand so when bubs is having a bad moment, you can occupy DS1 quickly so you can deal with bubs

When i am trying to get bubs down for a nap, I put DS1 on the floor with some favourite toys or I read to him while bouncing bubs. I know most of his favourite books and he turns the pages for me (these are cardboard books!).

Housework can be done but I let it slide for the first couple of weeks. As long as dishes were done and clothes washed, I was happy. Now i get DH to feed bubs at least once a day while I do something whether it is vacuuming, dusting etc.

Just make sure DS gets one-on-one time with you but also try and get him involved. I let DS1 hold DS2 (while on a chair and I am supporting bubs as well) whenever he asks as I want them to bond. It seems to be working as DS1 is very careful about people touching his "brudder" (his word for brother) and he usually watches then like a hawk and tells them to be careful.

Good luck

[Je$$_84]

My DS1 turned 2 years old 11 days after my DS2 was born so it can be done!

Some things that worked for me is:
- prepare a lunchbox in the morning with snacks etc so when you are feeding bubs, you can just grab that
- I read to DS1 while feeding bubs. He sits next to me and we use it as our time since the baby is quiet
- when bubs is sleeping, I play with DS1 so we have one-on-one time. Since bubs slept so much during the first week or two, it kept DS1 from getting too jealous and allowed DS1 to accept DS2 really well as he wasn't taking all of mummy's time
- DS1 loves to help with bubs. It can be as simple as putting nappies in the bin, clothes in the wash and patting bubs on the back for burping. Just little stuff but it gets him involved. I give him heaps of praise and he lights up!
- try and get DS1 to play in front of you with toys so you can talk to him when you are looking after bubs
- have a favourite DVD close to hand so when bubs is having a bad moment, you can occupy DS1 quickly so you can deal with bubs

When i am trying to get bubs down for a nap, I put DS1 on the floor with some favourite toys or I read to him while bouncing bubs. I know most of his favourite books and he turns the pages for me (these are cardboard books!).

Housework can be done but I let it slide for the first couple of weeks. As long as dishes were done and clothes washed, I was happy. Now i get DH to feed bubs at least once a day while I do something whether it is vacuuming, dusting etc.

Just make sure DS gets one-on-one time with you but also try and get him involved. I let DS1 hold DS2 (while on a chair and I am supporting bubs as well) whenever he asks as I want them to bond. It seems to be working as DS1 is very careful about people touching his "brudder" (his word for brother) and he usually wastches then like a hawk and tells them to be careful.

Good luck

Fantastic advice i do almost exactly the same...

[MantaRay]

Also, get a sling. It makes getting out and about much easier, but also makes it easier to get things done around the house. If the baby won't settle anywhere else, he/she will most likely be ok in the sling, and that leaves your hands free to play with the toddler or do things around the house.

But you will need to lower your expectations of what you get done. Housework needs to take a back seat for a while.

GL - it is hard work, but well worth it.

[mbear]

My younger two are 19mths apart, plus i had a then 4yr old. I found my newborn slept a lot during the first few weeks,esp in the day, yes, i was tired from the frequent night wakes, but i found when she did start being awake more in the days as she got older, i was kinda used to the two under two thing, and knew what to expect - KWIM?

I found the hardest part of the day (and still do....) is 5pm to 730pm - dinner, bath, bed......you have a plan, but with a newborn and a toddler, it doesnt always go that way. Your ironing may not get done for a few weeks, floors might look a site, and your carpets may desperately need a vacumn, but i found you just had to 'let go'. It will get done, it wont look this way forever, but baby and toddler need you more than your household chores.

Good luck.

[MamaPan]

great thread.. i am not there yet but hope to be soonish... and this certainly put a reality check on my excitement.... though i am still excited just now thinking thru all the practicalities..