Well i don't stop DD getting up and i don't lie down with her. If she gets up i put her back. Some nights i have to do it 20 times, most i have to do it once, sometimes i don't have to do it at all. When she was tiny, yes, i had to do it alot, but eventually they get it - if i get up i will be put back down, again and again, because it is bedtime and bedtime means we lie down and go to sleep.

I figure she's just checking i'm still there. Also i had to take the side off her cot at about 13 months because she could climb out and it was dangerous, so she's been able to get up and come to see us for a LONG time if she wants to. I think she really just tries her luck and finds every. single. time. that mama told the truth - it really IS bedtime.

At bedtime i put her in the shower or bath, get her out, put her into PJ's, lie in bed with her and read her 3 books, sing her bedtime song with her and then i get up, tuck her in, kiss her good night, put the lights off and leave. Most nights she will put her lights back on and come out looking for me once. I return her to bed, tuck her in and kiss her goodnight again, turn the lights off and go. If she does it more than twice i sit and cuddle her on the edge of the bed (we call it a "come 'ere" huggle) for a bit and ask her what time it is, she will reply "It's BEDtime" and i say "Want to get into bed and go to sleep then?" and she says "ok" and then she usually stays. I think some nights she just needs a little extra mumma-time. If i've given her a "come 'ere" and she's STILL getting up i reduce my chat to minimal "night night honeypie" as i turn the lights off so she's not getting any exciting or entertaining interaction from getting me to come put her back to bed. She hardly EVER gets up more than 4 times.

I would be wary of anyone smacking (at all in fact but especially) at bedtime. When you tap and she cries her body gets a rush of adrenalin, making it really hard for her to fall asleep, and making your job ultimately much more difficult. IME successful bedtimes revolve around routine, calm and relaxed interaction and a happy loving vibe. Laughter releases endorphins, which makes them sleep, if she's messing about you need to allow the happy vibe to continue while directing the action to what you need her to do. If DD is wriggling about i tell her she's too wriggly for stories she must be ready for sleep, and then she lies still because she wants to hear her stories! If she's bouncing on the bed i hold her hands and let her bounce for a bit and then i say "ok, bounce into bed little bouncer, it's time for sleepins!" and she does. Try to suggest what you want her to do as if it's the OBVIOUS next step and she'll be less likely to question it. Why is mumma going away? Because it's bedtime of course! Why is DD still in bed? Because it's bedtime of course! Say it gently, with a smile, she's still learning about the ways of the world. Imagine her as a body of inland water and bedtime is the ocean - build her a river with enough meandering that you don't get white water, and good steep sides so she can't divert! Remember that the end result (DD asleep and peaceful at a reasonable time) is the important thing, and how it happens is only important if it works. I used to try to get DD all arranged in bed before stories and annoyed if she wanted to bounce or wriggle between the shower and the story time, but in fact she often sleeps best when she's got the last of her pants ants out before she lies down. The happier you can make bedtime (without hysterical laughing fits!) the easier it will be for her to fall asleep.

Bx