Toddler discipline - help!

[Smoke Jaguar]

I don't advocate removing everything. Just the dangerous stuff, where possible. The oven, for example, can't be moved so we had to implement other measures when he finally took an interest in it. Also, stuff of value is sensible to move, otherwise you take a risk with things that are irreplaceable, where it's preventable!
Distraction is our tool of choice when it comes to the things that DS wants to get into that are inconvenient or potentially damaging to goods that you can't move up higher (like the antique, inherited hallstand we have that has a flap in the bench that DS used to love banging open and shut...can't exactly remove it), the contents of the sideboard etc.
Dangerous things to little people that we took care of: the wood heater, DP built a grate for it; whilst learning to walk we blocked off the kitchen with a baby gate etc.
Baby-proofing really refers to safety matters, not matters of inconvenience. So, Nee, you can probably say this to your mum and she might see it as a compromise, or here's hoping, anyway!
ETA: I was composing when you posted, Charlyfrog! I agree - if you move nothing and expect babies to learn by listening to you, you would have to follow them around everywhere, or keep them strapped into a bouncer to get anything done! (And my DS' nickname is 'mini-monster'!)

[Artechim]

Nee Nee, we did a similar thing to Cally, every time he touched something he wasn't allowed I said 'we don't play with that, look what is over here, come and play with mum and this toy'. If he didn't listen then I would repeat 'we don't play with that' and pick him up and sit him in the middle of the room. From there he was free to go (but often sat and had a sook) and I would call him and show him a toy. Now when I say 'we don't play with that' he will usually move away and find something he is allowed.

It is a bit unreasonable that your parents won't let you baby proof. Could you just set up a fire guard when they are out? Surely they wouldn't make you take it down if it was already there?

[Smoke Jaguar]

Honestly, it doesn't sound like Nee's DD is going to pay much heed to words and distraction will have limited effect! It doesn't sound like a parenting quality issue (though, yes, using words and explaining to a language-oriented child reflects a parent responsive to their child's learning and communication style, so thumbs up!), rather it's a harm minimisation one.
And in kids like these, saying "don't touch, we don't do that" will probably ensure the child hears "touch, we do that" (if adults brains barely register negatives, kids' brains are even less able to register a negative before a verb) and always reminds me of the old commercial for whatever cereal that was where the mumma bear says to the baby bear "Now, you behave" and the baby bear says "Beehive, yum!".
So, if risk removal is not available, distraction and removal of child to an activity s/he IS allowed to do is the only other practical option.

[Liz]

Is it possible to negotiate a certain area to be baby proofed? This worked perfectly for us. We gated off one room and it was completely babyproof (playpen around the tv/dvd) no power cords or power points accessible, and only a couple of lounges and toys in there.

Then you kind of have the best of both worlds.. a place you can feel assured they're 'safe' but you also have the rest of the house for the 'teaching' opportunities.

Admittedly our kidsafe zone was a room that was overlooked by the kitchen, so it really was perfect for us, coz I could get things done in the kitchen while DS played in the gated off room. I'll be getting the gate out again shortly for DD coz the xbox and DVD player in the main loungeroom is starting to get too tempting! LOL.

But yeah, perhaps look for a certain area and ask if you can at least baby proof that part of the house, as it's a bit mean having to lock them in bouncers and playpens when you need to get stuff done.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

I've been telling DD not to touch the TV buttons for 3 months lol. She totally understands, she just doesn't care. I can't scare her by raising my voice, sometimes I startle her if she's not expecting it but that's it. We've already got the playpen around the heater so I can't do that. I don't know what to do!

[paradise lost]

I've been telling DD not to touch the TV buttons for 3 months lol. She totally understands, she just doesn't care. I can't scare her by raising my voice, sometimes I startle her if she's not expecting it but that's it. We've already got the playpen around the heater so I can't do that. I don't know what to do!

My DD knows and doesn't care too hun I think to my DD i am a consultant with interesting ideas, NOT a parent with important rules. My dad says i've been using him as a consultant since i was 18months too so it's probably just one of those things. My DD can READ "no", let alone understand the spoken word, and she STILL doesn't care! LOL.

I KNOW i grew into a conscientious girl, and i think some of what will happen (i.e. our kids ignoring us and suffering for it) NEEDS to happen, so that they realise mummy isn't joking or being mean, but trying to keep them safe. I have certainly seen DD ignore me on something only to hurt herself and even if it's graceless, i ALWAYS say "That's why i told you not to!" when i go to comfort her. SHe's very resilient. I'm apparently over-protective, but i think i am gradually relaxing as she is finding some common sense!

Bx

[Kazbah]

Nee - I'm not sure how old you are, but could it be that DVDs, set-top-boxes and light TVs weren't around when you were a bub? I know that TVs were heavy things and VCRs hadn't even been invented when I was a bub!

If they don't want to totally baby-proof the area, you can get some playpens with extenders which will make a very large (2.5x2.5m approx) square which can just fit inside a room, even around sofas etc. Thats what we do - we're renovating and Pip is also like your DD in that "no" means "give mum a cheeky grin and do it anyhows".

Maybe, can you get your mum or dad onto their knees and have a look around from your DD's level? And see what's there?

Good luck.