thread: Toddler masterbation

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    I guess too the biggest worry is that because of her age that if she does it often, she may give herself a sore vulva and possibly even introduce infection, just because little kids don't always have the cleanest hands kwim? In all likelyhood she will grow out of it like Sushee said.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    where cosmopolitans and margaritas flow all night
    2,794

    I guess too the biggest worry is that because of her age that if she does it often, she may give herself a sore vulva and possibly even introduce infection, just because little kids don't always have the cleanest hands kwim? In all likelyhood she will grow out of it like Sushee said.
    Well she only does it in the bath at the moment so at least I know she's clean, though she wont let me cut her nails so she could scratch herself. She wears a nappy all the time except when going from the bedroom to the bathroom for her bath at the moment, but when she starts toilet training things will be different, though she should be old enough to start understanding when it's ok and when it's not ok to touch herself.

    Here is the article:

    Why it happens

    Toddlers masturbate for the same reason that older children do: it feels nice! Bodily exploration is part of growing up. During the toddler years, your child will learn to run, jump, throw, draw and (hopefully!) poo in a potty. She may be just as curious about her genitals as she is about her fingers, toes, and belly button -- and if she's recently switched from nappies to pants, she may be able to get to them for the first time. When many parents first see this kind of exploration, they wonder, "Is this normal?" The answer most experts give is, yes, you don't need to be concerned.

    What to do

    Don't panic. Not every child does it, but masturbation is a completely normal thing to do. It doesn't cause any physical harm, pose any health risks and, no, it won't turn your child into a sex maniac, either. Masturbation in toddlers isn't sexual (as it is for adults) because toddlers don't know what sex is. And while, in older children, explicit sex play can be a warning sign of sexual abuse or exposure to explicit sexual material, this is extremely unlikely to be the case with toddlers. (A toddler who's been sexually abused is more likely to become withdrawn or suddenly have trouble sleeping.) That said, toddlers masturbate because it feels good, and the good feelings can be as pleasurable for her as they are for adults. A toddler may even masturbate herself to orgasm complete with panting, red face, and a big sigh at the end. But it's absolutely not something to be worried about.

    Ignore it. You may have already told your toddler that some of her parts are private, and that no one but her, or her parents or a doctor, gets to touch them. But it may not sink in for your toddler as the concept of privacy means nothing to an under three. Your best bet is to look the other way or immerse yourself in a distracting activity.

    Distract her. Even knowing it's normal, even knowing lots of children do it, you'll probably be embarrassed if your toddler starts masturbating in front of other people. If you can't ignore it or laugh it off, distraction is your best bet. Masturbation is a lot like nose-picking -- children do it because it's there, because they're bored, and because their hands are free. If your toddler's hands stray toward her crotch at inopportune moments (in front of your in-laws, for example) keep a toy or other substitute handy to hand her, instead. Invite her to do a puzzle, or play with blocks, or toss a ball around -- anything that keeps her hands out of her pants.

    Watch your own reactions. Parents' reactions to masturbation pose the greatest risk for kids. If your toddler is made to feel guilty for exploring her body, or made to feel that what she's doing is dirty or naughty, she may associate sexual or pleasurable feelings with guilt and shame later in life.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Nov 2007
    Murray Bridge, SA
    1,600

    That's a great article!! Where's it from?

    Sounds like most of us were on the same track!

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    where cosmopolitans and margaritas flow all night
    2,794

    Its from the BabyCentre website. I get their newsletter and came across it.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Mar 2006
    4,542

    Thank you so much for this article. DD has been playing, touching and looking for a few months now, especially since she can take her own nappy off. I knew it wasn't a bad thing but I had no idea what to say to her.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    May 2007
    Newcastle NSW
    1,688

    My nephew used to seem to enjoy it also. He would rub the front of himself through his nappy though. My sister just used to let him be or if it went on for a while or they had company she would distract him with toys or whatever. He was proably the same age as your DD.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Mar 2004
    1,547

    My DS has a habit of absent-mindedly playing with himself when he is watching tv or in the bath. It does make me uncomfortable, because it is more than a little disconcerting to see your 6 year old with an erection. I just gently tell him to stop and that it is not nice to do that in front of people - in private is ok. My 2 year old DD is fascinated with her vagina atm, because we have started toilet training so it's not covered by a nappy all the time - she doesn't really 'play' with it though, it's more of an exploration thing - like she just wants to have a look and see what it is.

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Add ~clover~ on Facebook

    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    I've never had any of my kids quite do that, but all have played. If at home I just leave them alone, ignore it. I usually took the chance with the girls to say 'thats yours, you keep it for you', or something similar. Usually if they were trying to show me
    DS is different. He doesn't leave his alone! The girls weren't too phazed. I might say something like 'what have you got' or 'have you got your doodle'. Mainly coz I want it to be normalised. I want him to know its ok (well at 1 it is!!) When he gets older I'll tell him its for at home or whatever, just for you etc.
    I've never heard of actual 'toddler masterbation' before. I guess it would be a bit confronting, but I wouldn't worry too much. Its all normal.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    Springvale South, Melbourne
    2,826

    DD1 does it all the time, especially when sitting watching tv in the nud. I'm not too phased about it but the only time I do tell her to be careful is when she gets a toy or something that could hurt and touches herself. She has a little giggle so I know shes enjoying herself. I also distract her if shes doing it alot. I want her top be comfy with her body and not grow up with shame/guilt/embarresment like I did...and at 33years of age, I'm still getting over it!