hi deedles;

I have a similar age gap between my two and DD1 is 2, and their bdays are about 5 weeks apart. The best advice I was given when DD2 was born, was to involve DD1 as much as possible. So when I go to change DD2's nappy I ask DD1 first if thats ok, and then if shes been good DD1 can help by passing me the nappy and all that stuff. We talk a lot with DD1 ow about everything that is going on with DD2 and continually reinforce how good she is and how much her little sis loves her and all that.... So far the tantrums have been minimal.

DD1 is very similar with sleep time as well.. We put her in a big bed and that helped heaps. Instead of letting her grab me, I now let her hold me hand. She still screams a fair bit about bed time, but now we go in there and read books for a while before starting her routine.
Now I sit in there with DD2 on my lap normally bfing, I hold one of DD1's hands and read her a book or four... On Dhs nights off he can't believe what I gothrough everytime its time for a sleep.
And as far as wanting your boob; have you just offered him? Im just wondering if he's curious, and offering could help..

I think i havent helped that much, but I wish you luck!!

Justine