Mazzy, I found that Jack was just 19 months when Tom was born, so it was hard to know how much he understood. But the first thing he did when he came into the labour suite after Tom's birth was to climb up on the cot to see "the baby". Everytime he came to visit he did the same thing and he didn't react at all when we took the baby home in the car with us (nor later), so that was when I knew he had understood. GL, you sound like you are doing a great job. I am sure it will be fine!