Toddlers and Funerals

[helle]

We didn't take DS to DHs pops funeral for that reason. He's too boisterous and energetic and wouldn't have sat still.
We did take him to the wake tho

[briggsy's girl]

you know your DD Nae - there is no rule about who should or shouldn't attend a funeral service - yes, in an ideal world, we would go and show our respects - but the family will probably be very zoned out as to who is there, and you can pay your respects in other ways at other times

when DH's brother passed, my brother left his kids with his MIL and collected them to come to the wake afterwards - where if they were being fidget bums, it didn't matter so much. i know there were several hundred people at the funeral to pay their respects, but i remember very few of them being there. we were focussed on saying goodbye. it was better to be able to speak to people afterwards when it wasn't such a solemn moment kwim? i know you're out of town and this probably isn't really a viable option - but it's something to consider. is it somewhere you can find a local cafe (if you DD will sleep in her pram or something) and then go back to the wake afterwards?

i have made the decision not to go to a few funerals in the past 12 months due to DD's age and her fidget bum behaviour. i make an effort to catch up with the family privately and pass on my condolences rather than having her (potentially) disrupt the service. if it were immediate family, she would go - but friends and extended family, i stay home (or DH stays with her - or she goes to Granmas)

[*Ash*]

We took our DS - 14 months at the time- to my FIL's funeral. He squirmed around a bit and babbled out loud occasionally. No one seemed to care. We wanted him to be there. I wanted to be able to tell him - when he is older- that he was at his pop's funeral. And I know in my heart that my FIL would have wanted all his grandkids there. There was no question in my mind that DS would miss it.

However, if it was a funeral of someone that isn't connected in any way to my baby or toddler, I probably wouldn't take them. Would you feel ok if just DH went on behalf of your family? I am sure people would understand. I missed my DH's Aunty's funeral recently. DH travelled to Sydney for it and I stayed home with the kids. I sent a heartfelt card to the Aunty's daughter, and apologised for my absence. She was just very grateful that my DH had attended.

[surprised]

Can you call the church and ask if there is a cry room?

[NaeNae]

Thanks everyone for your replies,

Ash - HUbby is going regardless if DD and I go so he as a family rep is fine

Surprised - no the church doesn't have a crying room unfortunately :S