Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: Touching

  1. #1

    Default Touching

    I'm having a few problems with Kimberley touching herself. She doesn't do it all the time and she is always concentrating on something else at the time so I'm not sure she is aware of what she is doing.

    I caught her a couple of times yesterday doing this and i am not sure on the best way to deal with it.
    I've only seen her doing it at home. The other thing is i have a hard job keeping clothes in her when we are home so most times she has nothing on.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    738

    Default

    Hi Michelle ,

    I have not been through this with Kaitlyn yet . But I have heard that you should not really get them in trouble as they need to know it is natural and normal . Hopefully some of the other mums who have been through it will be more helpful!

  3. #3
    Tigergirl1980 Guest

    Default

    I don't know for sure, but I'm fairly sure it's not a huge problem. She's probably just exploring her body as most if not all children do. Self exploration is totally normal and I don't think anything should be done about it. If you get angry at her it's just going to teach her that her body is dirty or something like that. I'm sure if I am wrong though someone will correct me. But I think it's just a normal and natural thing that you should talk to her about as she grows and teach her about her body etc.

    ETA: Upon reflection ignoring it is probably not the way to go. Discussing it would be a better way of dealing with it because then she can learn about her body and why it does the things it does etc.
    Last edited by Tigergirl1980; September 22nd, 2006 at 12:34 PM. Reason: Edited after reflection.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ubiquity
    Posts
    9,922

    Default

    Just try and teach her privacy. In fact they had something on house about it a few weeks back. Also perhaps now is the time to start explaining to her about her own body being private iykwim? I'm not sure how much Kimberly comprehends, but there are ways of talking about it without scaring her, or in such a way that she'll understand.

    If in doubt get some advice from your GP or a local counsellor on how best to deal with the situation But try not to worry nearly every mother of girls I know has been through this one way or another.

    *hugs*
    Cailin
    Last edited by Rouge; September 22nd, 2006 at 12:12 PM.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    857

    Default

    I agree with Bec that it natural for them to touch themselves. Amy has just started and is a lot younger than Kimberley but I won't have a problem with it then either. Maybe if you ignore the behaviour she won't tend to do it as much.

  6. #6
    Tigergirl1980 Guest

    Default

    It does happen with boys too. Jonah sometimes has a hand down his nappy or grabs at his bits when we're changing his nappy. So it's something that all children do.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Forestville NSW
    Posts
    8,944

    Default

    Matilda likes to make sure everythings working down there, in fact she often gets a bit fascinated about it all... today in the shower she was washing herself and said "mummy, folds" and then "daddy no folds" so I guess she's just starting to discover these bits of life. I try not to make a big deal about it yet, and most of the times when she does it is at home when she's naked, I've never seen her do it away from home.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    NZ
    Posts
    2,554

    Default

    Jenna is becoming a tugger!
    She knows its her noo-noo, and that mummy and daddy have noo-noo's too The only time she really has a good play with it is when she is nappyless on the potty, and I get a bit funny about that cause I dont really want to see her pee on her hand!
    I dont ever remember seeing my mother naked as a child, soI would rather have a healthier attitude towards nudity in this house. And I'm afraid with a father liek hers, there aint much I'm gunna to to keep all his clothes on!

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ubiquity
    Posts
    9,922

    Default

    Yeah Bec I'd say you are right. Ignoring probably isn't a great idea, I think it depends on the age though, if they are too little to comprehend privacy well there's not much point in explaining it. I'd be very open about the whole thing though. I've seen what its like for adults who have been taught its "wrong" and sexual disfunction ain't that great either. But I think its important, when they are of an appropriate understanding, to teach personal space of others and themselves. The earlier that can be done the less of an issue it becomes and the easier on all it is.

    Oh the things I've heard boys can do LOL! I now understand how men came to think of puppetry of the penis LOL! But its all perfectly natural We just have to remember to be natural about it too

    *hugs*
    Cailin

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Western Australia
    Posts
    2,300

    Default

    Its perfectly natural and normal and considering she is doing it at home I really wouldnt worry. All children should be allowed to explore their bodies without thinking that part of their body is a forbidden area....our reactions to this start the shaming process.

    Jo

  11. #11

    Default

    I agree that its prefectly normal but now might be a good time to talk about privacy and also to introduce/discuss some protective behaviour. I don't think its ever to young to explain to your children that thier nappy area is private and that if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable that they can talk to you about it and that its ok to tell them to go away. There is an article about introducing protective behaviour on the main site here.

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ubiquity
    Posts
    9,922

    Default

    Thanks Chloe thats exactly what I was trying to say hehehehe! Amongst my mumbo jumbo

    *hugs*
    Cailin

  13. #13

    Default

    Thanks everyone for your replies. I must admit i was a little embarrassed about posting what was going on but it's nice to hear from so many of you and hopefully it will help others that go through it later on.

    I will start talking more to Kimberley about what she is doing and helping her understand about who is and isn't allowed to touch her body. Hopefully she won't do it for long and at least she only does it at home at the moment.

  14. #14
    Jacquelyn Guest

    Default

    Hi

    I agree that I think it is natural for all kids to "explore" this particular area, as they do all the others.

    What I did with my daughter is explain to her that I understood that she was doing it because it felt nice, but it was something that should be done in privacy. I then likened it to picking your nose, or farting loudly in public, just not a great thing to do when people can see you. As soon as I said the fart word it all became funny, rather than anything to worry about. I can honestly say I have not seen her do it since.

    Hope this helps.

    Jacquelyn

  15. #15

    Default

    I shared a bath with her tonight and when she touched her vigina i told her that she should only do that in her room and not in front of others. I explained again that she has a vigina and Alex has a penis and that no one should touch her and if they do she should tell us. I'll keep talking to her about it until she explains to me what i have said she does understand a awful lot so she knows what you are saying.

  16. #16
    Tigergirl1980 Guest

    Default

    That's great Michelle, good on you. I definitely think that's the way to go

  17. #17

    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ubiquity
    Posts
    9,922

    Default

    Fantastic Michelle thats exactly what we did too! And good on you for using the correct terminology, its also another factor in helping protecting our children by empowering them with the correct terms and having no fear in using them

    *hugs*
    Cailin

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •