Still only sleeping on me...what do I do???

[nataliew]

Well my boy is now 19 days old and I still can't put him down to sleep. I can get him to sleep in the sling, car and sometimes the pram and that's all helping but what do I do with him the rest of the time?
I feel so down and so trapped. I've tried wrapping and sushing and it just goes on and on until he's totally distressed and then it's feeding time again.
Of an evening I'm just feeding and rocking him until he's fast enough asleep that I can lay him down beside me - sometimes I'm successful, sometimes not.
I am so desperate to be able to put him down. I feel like I'm going out of my mind - it's all I think about 24/7 - 'how am I going to get him to sleep'???
He's in our bed of a night (most of the time with me trying to settle him) and it's just not working out - I desperately want him to be able to sleep in his own room.
What am I doing wrong here???

[*charmalea*]

oh honey , what about a hammock it bounces them to feel like they are in the womb ...

or contact your local health centre to have a day stay or a chn to visit you ... they really are helping hands ... ask your doc where the nearest one is ... there is one for each major area ...

gl ... and dont try to put pressure on your slef to get him in to his own room , he is still only tiny and needs you more than ever right now , enjoy those night you have with him ... with in a few weeks he will be different all over again ..

oh and check to see if reflux isnt the problem .....

[Saffi]

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your son.

I can totally understand where you are at - we've all been there. Honestly it does get better.

We operate (and still do) on a feed, play, sleep cycle. In the early days it could be only about an hour in all.

I found that putting DS in his basinette, wrapped and patting him on his bum or back/shoulder to sleep worked. We also used a dummy as a settling tool. He would often cry and struggle and would often take 10 or so mins but after a bit of persistance and reading his cues we knew when he was close to sleep and he also learned how to get to sleep too. He is learning just as much as you are. Are you clued in to what his tired signs are? DS would do alot of eye rubbing, become grizzly and generally not interested or easily distracted by anything. I also found that a routine based on time worked for us.

Colic or reflux may also be an issue and there are heaps of threads on how to manage that.

GL and keep your chin up.

[Arimeh]

Natalie, hang in there mate, you are doing a fine job. Its very frustrating being a mum because the little buggers don't include an instruction manual when they come out!!!! I'd agree with the others, check that there is no medical problem, ie colic or reflux. Or, try a paediatric chiropractor - that helped with my DS cos he wasn't the best sleeper, because his neck was out and he was in pain whilst trying to get comfortable, so needed my warmth to help soothe his pain.
Do you have a swing chair? that helped soothe mine to sleep too. Any other people around to support you and to give you a break works great too. Sometimes its fantastic to just have a break and go outside and have a nice cuppa alone with your thoughts... I always like my "me" time, makes me remember who I am, not that I'm only just a mum!!!
Whereabouts are you? Perhaps there are BB members near you that can come over for a bit and help out - even if its just to hold the baby so you can take a nap or something....
I'm just throwing around ideas because I know how difficult it is!!!!! you are doing a great job - keep your chin up hon!!

[aussienic]

firstly congratulations on the birth of your son

As Saffi said it gets better. Just enjoy these early days. If he sleeps on you then take that opportunity to rest and just watch a movie ect.. Or alternatively lay on the bed with him while he is snuggled close. Once he falls asleep then slowly get up and get some much neded time out for yourself.

my DD was like that, she just wanted to sleep on me day and night. She wouldn't even settle for Dh but around 3-5 weeks it worked itself out..

Good Luck..

[~Trish~]

A big hug for you Natalie, I have been there and I understand how you feel! My first DS would only sleep on me too and by 10 weeks of age I was about to lose the plot. I ended up taking him to a paediactric chiropractor and it turns out he had a dislocated right shoulder from a birthing injury that was never picked up at the hospital. Once it was fixed he was much more settled, but still only slept on me because by then a habit was created. We ended up buying an Amby baby hammock and we could bounce him off to sleep in it. He loved it and never needed me to hold him to sleep again!

So definitely get your bub looked at to make sure there is nothing medically wrong, but if you're really stuck you could try a hammock (you can hire them before deciding to buy one). Hopefully it is just a newborn phase that passes quickly for you (and it does fly, I promise!) and he turns into a champion sleeper for you

[Ozziehoffy]

My little man was like that for a while too... I think up to around 3/4 months old. I had a hug a bub sling and popped him in there - it was my saviour... I could even rest with him in it as he couldn't fall out of it. They're only little and the world is big and scary to them, that's why a lot of them want to be with mum all the time. They've been all warm and cozy for 9 months and then all of a sudden it's not so warm or cozy. I had an amby hammock as well and it was WONDERFUL. He wouldn't sleep in it in the day though...lol...but at night, slept like a little angel. It does get better, they do learn to sleep on their own. It's kinda funny now though, there are times I wish he'd fall asleep just snuggling me like he used to...lol.

[KatieRabbit]

Natalie- there will be plenty of time for him to go in his own cot. You are not forming any bad habits by keeping him in bed with you. You are not doing ANYTHING wromg- it sounds so completely normal what is happening. I felt for the first few months that ALL I was concerned about was getting DD fed and to sleep. It becomes a bit obsessive but that's okay too. You are doing everything right- rocking, sushing, patting etc and it is no one's fault that he won't sleep. It's just that he's a new bub and needs to learn how to sleep. That's where you help him with your strategies. It will happen for him but I know your frustration and worry. Have you thought of a dummy for him? If it's really getting you down try a sleep place where you do a day stay- they are terrific support and will boost you when you realise what an excellent job you are doing caring so much for your little one.