DS is a limpet! When he was a newborn he had to be held ALL the time unless he was asleep or being bounced in his bouncer. The sling didn't work as it wasn't close enough. When he got to about 5 or 6 months, he started to enjoy our little walks in the pram as long as we kept moving, and from about 7 months he'd even fall asleep in there (though would wake up as soon as it stopped moving!). DS's sleep times were the only time I got to be more than a few metres away from him up until a couple of months ago.
When he could sit, things improved in that I could sit with him rather than having to hold him, but still had to carry him every time I moved (even if it was just across the room!). When he started crawling, he'd follow me around, then cling to my leg until I picked him up. Same for when he started walking. People used to tell me he'd be 'happier' once he could crawl/walk etc but it wasn't until after he turned one, he started becoming a bit more independent. I don't think it had anything to do with being more mobile, it was more of a developmental and understanding thing.
He will happily play for 5 or so minutes right next to me or DH now, but does still spend most of his 'independent play time' sitting on my lap, iykwim. He still grabs us and pulls us along to play with him or show him something, but once or twice a day he will wander off and play by himself for up to 20 minutes. He will also usually play in the lounge by himself while I am in there folding washing. He's absolutely fine if it's his idea to move away, but still gets upset if we're the ones who have to go and he doesn't want us to.
Basically, my little man wants to be wherever we are. The more he's included, the happier he is. The happier he is, the less of a limpet he is. That 1/2 metre gap seems like a kilometre when you've spent 12 months connected to him, lol! I'm used to going to the toilet with him now (he's at the age where he's pointing and asking about everything now so it's like a running commentary...'mummy is doing a wee'...'mummy is pulling her pants up'....'mummy is flushing' :reface and having him around while I do the housework - he plays with the pegs or hands them to me, gets the washing out of the machine, sits on the bench while I chop veggies, plays in his 'special' cupboard while I do the washing up etc. He's also great with a dustpan and brush or sponge....
My brother and his partner have just had a baby and I was amazed when we visited to be greeted at the door by mum and dad and bub was in the bouncer around the corner, awake but not screaming! It didn't compute...
Someone spilled superglue on me, I think. Little girl is sick, which doesn't help (if she's well, I get 3 or 4 30 minute bursts per day in which to do stuff.) but, yeah, I own 9 different baby carriers for a reason!
my DS was like that & still is to a certain extent.
he wanted to sleep on me for naps for a long time - he definitely grew out of it a bit by the time he was 6 months. i still lie down next to him while he goes to sleep & he's 2. i don't have a problem with it though & he's been sleeping on a matress (and a bed since he was about 18 months) since he was 9 months old - it's made settling him far easier.
i noticed that he became far more independent when he started walking at 12 months - it was almost as if he realised he could get to me (moreso than when he was crawling) if he needed to, which meant it was okay to leave my side.
he still likes a bit of my attention & often asks for 'cuggles' but i don't mind i went through a stage of being a bit frustrated but someone commented at playgroup one day how lovely it must be to get all those cuddles & how her little boy just wasn't interested. then i realised i needed to change my way of thinking & appreciate the positives.
i tried a sling when DS was a NB but didn't have much money to try different sorts & he didn't like the one i'd bought this time i'm prepared & have already bought a close carrier!
I'm a velcro mama from way back.
Can't help you with when it will improve cos I've blocked those memories out lol.
I did console myself many a time with 'I'm offering them a nurturing, secure safe place to gain their confidence. They will use that to their advantage to feel safe and secure enough to venture out on their own'.
DD I battled, but DS I just went with it and I have to say, he is much more independent, self confident and self assured than DD. And apart from that early stage my parenting is largely the same for both of them. it def does get better though.
and having him around while I do the housework - he plays with the pegs or hands them to me, gets the washing out of the machine, sits on the bench while I chop veggies, plays in his 'special' cupboard while I do the washing up etc. He's also great with a dustpan and brush or sponge....
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this time i'm prepared & have already bought a close carrier!
it def does get better though.
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