Vent: The Most Exhausting Part of Raising a Toddler...

[Bathsheba]

My number one vent when it comes to exhausting jobs is:

Dressing them!

Good grief this can be hard!!! I don't know how people with bad backs deal with it! First there is the task of actually getting them out of the bath... or chasing a wet toddler who is streaking naked and dripping all over the house and on slippery tiles. My 3yo is still doing this. Just 10 minutes ago infact he was flying through the house shrieking: "CHEEKY MONKEY!" leaving a trail of wet footprints and still as slippery as an eel. I managed to grab him (lucky I am fast on my feet too!) and carry him struggling in a towel back to his room. Once dry I had him on his bed. But he wouldn't stay still. So trying to stop him from flopping all over the place and trying to stand up on the bed head to leap off "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!" he often yells...I am already at my wits end but breathe deeply. I am a patient person... so how does the majority of the population of parents cope???? After each wrestle trying to get on a: singlet, shirt, undies, jumper and overalls he tries to escape wriggling all the time. With item of clothing for the lower part of the body: undies and pants etc I have to bend over and hold the item steady so he can step in... but more times than not he misses and treads on the item or misses totally meanwhile my arms, shoulders, back are groaning with tiredness. The alternative is to lie him down on his back and raise his legs and try to get them on that way.... but this is actually harder... as he then thinks that flailing (kicking) his legs is a fun idea. I have tried getting cross... and bribing... but he ignores it all. I so strongly detest dressing my child!!!! He also tends to undress himself at least 3 times a day so often i have just finished dressing him and then half an hour later I have to do it again!!! I think I am getting too old for this. I'm fit but I'm nearly 40. DH has the same trouble... but he has less patience. If only I had somebody else dress him occasionally... like an aunt or Nana... then he might get out of this habit of being silly.


So... if you have a toddler... what's your biggest gripe... vent away!

[Erin_25]

I will ditto the dressing them also!!!! some mornings I wonder if I will ever get out of the house, he groans & moans, runs away laughing grrrrrrrr! I just have to grab him, hold him down and go as quick as I can. That and dinner time, when will he learn food is not the enemy!

[Olive]

why not try and encourage him to dress himself? loads of praise might see him do it himself!

[Rach75]

I am with you

mine for some reasons need "cuggles" (cuddles) after every bath/shower wont let me dry him nothing till we have "cuggles" which can go on for 10min or more its too cold to do it if I dont cuggle he arhces his back makes a huge fuss and I give up

my latest is all of a sudden he is having throw down tantrums and being 21 1/2 weeks pg with high risk pg picking up 15+ kg of strugglign toddler is not good I honestly want to walk away or (joke) slap him in the head he drives me bonkers

[~Kim~]

oh Bath, I wish I had a solution. I totally agree. Darcy does everything you just mentioned....grrr or she does the stick thing making herself rigid, or curls into a ball....plus theres the determination to only wear what she wants. Thank goodness she's finally taking ownership of her dressing.
But you're right. It was my mum who taught her to dress herself.
mate.

[Olive]

i should say too that S likes to flap her legs around too some nights after bath, but now we talk to her about her day and she doesnt do it anymore, well for now anyway

[Bathsheba]

Thanks girls! At least I know I'm not the only one!

He has only just turned 3... and yes, he is only 14 kilos but it feels like 24 when he's struggling... he is probably at least a year away from being able to dress himself... that usually happen around 4 - 5yo. My 5yo dresses himself most of the time now. I am a big encourager of independence believe me!!!

I think the worst part is that he is so gleeful about it. I kind of want to scream at him and upset him just so that he stops the hysterical laughing but I know that would be wrong... it would just swap one poor situation for another... he could then switch to tantrumming.

So I have chosen to vent here instead. maybe I need to remember that moods are still contagious with little ones... if i am ultra calm it might "infect" him too... maybe I need to put some lavender in the bath... or dress him in candle light at night Funny how I can see more solutions when putting my problem in BB land! LOL

[minimatron]

Mmmmm yep I have the same problem with dressing and even if i get clothes on....they are off within 5 minutes. I just let her run around the house nudie rudie....unless we are going out. She is so hard to dress at the moment, she even went to the drs in her pjs and started undressing there. Am trying hard to toilet train her too, which would be fine.....IF i could get her to wear undies! AAAHHHHH

[Lulu]

I don't fight with a child itching for one. End of story.

Mitch resists getting dressed, he hates it (even though his 3ys sister dresses herself each morning and chooses her own clothes), but I don't bother with a fight.
It's just "well I have to go out and do xxx at the shops, you can't come if you're not dressed". If he yells and screams, so be it - I make a cup of tea and continue getting myself and anyone else dressed. When I pick up the keys and my handbag DD and the dog are at the door ready to go he races to quickly get dressed and begs for my help to do so.
I HAVE put him in the car in his jarmies (oh how he loves his pjs), but he didn't win that one either because I wouldn't let him get out of the car, he had to wait.

The facts are the facts, either he gets dressed or stays home - I can't be arsed fighting over it and I avoid the whole battlefield thing but outwardly appearing to not give a crap and giving him some power over it by making it his choice to get dressed. I do make a fuss sometimes about what would be the best jumper/shirt for the day etc, and will usually let him choose - gives him to power he feels he needs, in a way I don't mind iykwim?

[Bathsheba]

Yep... I think I'm going to try that Lulu... nil emotion time. Unfortunately I can't let his choose his clothing... he would go for the opposite season ones every time... although I could try offering him a closed choice; this jumper or that one? Good idea. Thanks again girls

[Pretty Butterfly]

I don't do it.

Zavier refuses to wear clothes, so he is naked 99% of the time. I dont leave the house Mon-Fri, so he is naked all that time. If any one comes, we run together to get undies to cover up "pee-pis". He is good with going outside, always wants clothes on out there luckily.

Kane is different. Wants a cloth nappy and babylegs (legwarmers) EVERYDAY. After a shower is the only time, and he will be naked for an hour or so. Weeing and pooing without a nappy upsets him, so he gets a nappy and lays down to have it put on!!

Za eats, plays, sleeps, naked. He'll grow out of it........... eventually!!!!!

[Snowy Love]

I wait till DH is home to give DS a bath becuase he's so hard to dress after a bath (he goes to bed at 8:30, I understand its not an option for those with toddlers that go to bed earlier). The nudeing up may become a problem - I went to hang the washing out this morning & came in to a completely naked boy. In the morning he doesn't want to take his sleep suit off and once we get it off, he doesn't want a jumper on (might be my Dad's genes - he goes around in shorts & t-shirt all year round).

At the moment its independance thats exhausting me mentally - he wants to take his clothes off himself, but he doesn't have the skills to get some of his t-shirts off (didn't have that problem this morning) and chucks a tanty if I look like I want to help him.

[~Saram~]

The most exhausting part I find is going out, especially if I have to take both kids. They both run in oppostite directions, I never get to sit still or relax and I hate it - high stress levels just thinking about going out. What I need is a nice big fenced park with very low climbing equipment so no-one can fall and kill themselves so I can SIT DOWN FOR FIVE MINUTES -ahhhhh.

Thanks Bath for letting me have a vent - needed that.

As for bath time - must admit both my kids probably drip dry more than they towel dry. DS honestly doesn't know what a towel is for and DD thinks it's a robe for a princess so yes it usually takes us 30min to get dressed after a bath and is usually done with about 10 minute between each item but we get there eventually. I am not a chaser at home - do enough of that during the day - if they run - fine - they'll come back eventually

[fionas]

I have the same problem with DD and I have a bad back. How I will cope if I get pregnant again, heaven only knows.

I've basically stopped fighting her. Today we had a shower together and she hates getting out, always has a tanty and says "more, more, more". And if I try to dress her straightaway, it's a nightmare - like dealing with a grouchy octopus on speed. I simply can't do it especially when my towel is falling off.

So now what I do is I get out and do my own thing. Go to the bedroom and get dressed myself. I always make sure the house is warm so if she's running around nudie, it's no biggie - she's not going to be cold. After a few minutes she wants to see what I'm doing and as I'm dressed then she wants to do the same.

Generally, I think the most exhausting thing is the mental energy it takes for tantrum avoidance. I'm always having to think about what will set the next one off and where to choose my battles.

My secret weapon for the last few days is to play the "let's ask dolly" game. So if she wants to get out of her highchair while we're still eating dinner, I say, "let's ask dolly" and make a big show of dolly thinking DD should stay in her high chair. Same with putting on shoes. If she resists, I say "let's ask dolly." That's working a treat at the moment but I'm sure it will wear off in another week!

Often - like on the dressing thing - I feel slack. I feel like I shouldn't be letting her run around with no clothes on and I'm not being a good mum. Then the other side of me says, there is no point buggering up my back further by wrestling with her.

If I let her watch TV, I feel like I'm a bad mum too but I know that if I don't get things done around the house, then I'll feel bad too. Then I have to think of ways to avoid her having a tanty when the TV goes off. It's a constant mental challenge.

I think slowly but surely I'm learning to find a balance but geez, it's hard sometimes and seems to be calling for increasing ingenuity.