I'd give a bit more choice at bedtime. So she can get off the floor and pick TWO bedtime stories or sit and scream on the floor while you knit (or do something else with your hands to keep them off her!) and when she's ready, then it's bedtime. Maybe she's not ready for bed at that time - so maybe give her a longer bath? Maybe tell her that YOU like bedtime (even though you don't) because you love sitting and cuddling reading together. What does she like? Ooooh, that's good: let's do some extra of that tonight, would that be good?

I often let DS out of bed to turn off his light else I get a tantrum. Who really cares about turning off a light? Well, DS does. Then we have to go and make his glow-in-the-dark planets spin around before I put him into bed.

DS's tantrums last past distraction and ignoring too. I just tell him that when he chooses to play, I'm in the other room building a tower. Then I go back to whatever we were doing before he had a hissy fit. Or when he's ready to play again let me know, I'm going to read my book. I don't care beyond the fact that I'm going to win - and I tell DS so. If he asks nicely, his request is considered. If he screams, he doesn't get it. He runs off and I pick him up and bring him home: I win. I always win because I am Mammy. Maybe we should try getting on so that we both win. Bizarrely enough, that does work quite well.