At what age did your baby/toddler/child first stay away for the night?
We haven't had a night away from DD yet, we have gone out for the evening but always been there in the morning, I don't even know if I am ready for DD to have a night away, I would miss her like crazy!!!
But MIL mentioned the other day that she is going to be old enough soon
In some ways it would be nice to be able to sleep in and not have to wake up when she does, but I also don't know if I trust people to do things how I do them, MIL has given her juice twice and I never give her juice - she is a massive water drinker and I don't want to disturb that Even though it is a little thing I do wonder what else she might ben given.
But this isn't a rant or rave bout her as she is lovely
But I was really wondering at what age did you feel ok to leave your baby/toddler/child with grandparents of close friend for the night?
I think DS would have been at least two.
Id have been happy for him to stay at my parents earlier than that but they didnt want to be woken up at night.
He dd stay once before that, but they made me stay too.
I still havent!!!!!!!!! DS1 is 18 months old, even when I was in hospital having DS2 my mum was here to look after DS1 but DH was home every night to put him to bed etc.
I dont see myself letting him stay anywhere for a very long time (as even when I knew DH was at home with him I was still worried about him and my mum doing things same way I do and same rountine etc.)
I think whenever YOU feel comfortable leaving them overnight is when it's the right time With DD1, it was very early on - we lived with my parents when she was born and so mum would often 'take' her overnight as I was struggling with depression, sleep deprivation, and just generally being overwhelmed with the adjustment to motherhood... I had no confidence in my parenting ability and figured mum did alright with me so I didn't have any worries, kwim? It's a different story now, DD2 only just had her first sleepover at nanna and poppy's the weekend before last because DH and I got a last-minute invite to go to the Gold Coast and I jumped at it because we've never had a trip as a couple, not even since before DD1 was born. It was a bit hard for me because we were 7 hours away and DD2 is definitely more of a mummy's girl than DD1 (who will go to anybody and be happy lol), but we both survived and I had a great time
Ds was 18 months (and feral, and i was pg and felt like cr*p). But that was with my mum, who i completley trust to follow my wishes and take good care of him. I wouldn't leave him overnight with my MIL.
I have left DS with dp overnight a couple of nights (like 2) but that doesn't really count we have my sisters wedding coming up and DS will be almost 23 mnths and MIL is staying at our house to watch DS overnight so we have no curfew but will probably be home in the hours of the morning... if that counts.
TBH while your MIL may think your DD is old enough for a night away only you know if DD really is so I agree with others... don't rush if you don't want to and do it when you (and DH) are ready.
Thankyou for your feedback, it is interesting to read the different ages and the different reasons, and what is right for one person is very different to another, which was to be expected.
I know that we won't be doing it once the cooler weather hits, as part of DD right lung doesn't work and even a cold can send her to hospital in respiratory distress and when she does get sick it takes vigilant monitoring and I wouldn't want to put that kind of responsibility on someone else, and we know when to make the call. As she can still have a giggle or smile, yet be in quite a bit of trouble.
So it might not be until the end of the year at this rate as I don't think I will be ready before then
If anyone else wants to share I would be really interested in what has/hasn't worked for you, and dealing with "trusting" the carer to do what you want
Coz I am shocking DD1 was 4.....two nights before her 4th birthday actually, was her first sleep over. DD2 still has not...
ETA It was to my Mums, and I always said to her, she can go when SHE is ready and not before. (Mum and Dad have been waiting since her birth for her sleepover)
Last edited by Queen; January 25th, 2010 at 10:19 PM.
: Adding.
DD was 23 months old and I left her with my mum during the day and my brother stayed with her at nights. That was for a 3 day period when I went interstate. She was fine. My brother lived with me for a year when DD was 6 mths to 18 months old so she is very close to him and she is fine with my mum too. I havent allowed overnight stays with her father yet and she is nearly 3.5 yrs old.
well Jack is 3 yrs 4 mths and he wont be for a very long time to come, I have only left him for a few hrs about 1/2 dozen times with anyone except Jase ... my MIL and FIL were talkign about when they retire end of year they want a caravan big enough to take grandkids away, one is 4 in 2 weeks Jack is 3 yrs 4mths and luke is 3mths, they can take the 4yr old but no way in hell will they be takign my boys before they are 10
Eleanor had her first sleep over at my mum's about 2 weeks ago - she was just on 10 months. She was perfect, slept all the night through. I only live just around the corner, so I'm happy I can come get her if she really needs me (Mum or Eleanor!). I'm planning on leaving her for the whole weekend soon - I'm more then comfortable with my mum and her ability to look after her.
2yrs 3 months for DD1 and only because DD2 was being born, it was a disaster so only recently 3yrs 2 months we retried and wow i wish we'd tried again earlier!! she loves going to my mum and dads
Vic, I have left DD overnight with the Bear for 3 nights (two nights in November and one last week when I was in Melbourne for work), but I wouldn't leave her with someone else. I just don't think she would feel safe and comfortable and I'm pretty sure she would give them seven levels of hell if she woke up in the night (which she still does quite a lot ) and neither of us were there. I think its up to you, but it would have to be someone you trust 100%, someone DD knows really, really well and feels totally safe with. But with N's health issues I can definitely understand your caution. No rush ... and of course you need to be ready too!
I've left both kids early on.. around the 6 month mark. DS shared 10 days in between both sets of grandparents when Hubby and I went away on our honeymoon interstate. DD was 5 months old when we went to a wedding and both DS and DD stayed at my parents for the night. That was close to 48 hours away from us.
I'm veyr lucky that my kids are more than happy to hang out with any of their grandparents and are pretty relaxed with most family. They've only ever stayed at grandparents places though.
DS was 4 months when he stayed overnight at my Mums as we had a wedding and wouldn't be getting home till late so didn't want to disturb him in the middle of the night to take him home. I didn't really get any extra sleep as I was BF so my boobies woke me up still LOL.
DS is going to stay at Mums again overnight next weekend (only the second time for the WHOLE night), as DH and I have decided we need a night out - and again I'd rather he sleep there than us disturb him in the middle of the night. My Mum is awesome though, she has babysat him many many times and follows our routine to a T and respects our parenting ways and DS LOVES her to bits. She also doesn't mind if I ring a million times. I would never leave him with the ILs though, they would probably feed him very inappropriate food and I would be concerned for his safety, they seem to lack common sense (dont seem to respect routine etc) and have clearly forgotton what its like to look after a baby.
Last time Mum had him, I was SOOO Excited to see DS the next morning that it was like Christmas LOL - You'll know when you are ready Beema, dont let anyone pressure you to do it before you are ready as you will just worry and fret the whole time
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At what age did your baby/toddler/child first stay away for the night?
Even though it is a little thing I do wonder what else she might ben given.
With DD1, it was very early on - we lived with my parents when she was born and so mum would often 'take' her overnight as I was struggling with depression, sleep deprivation, and just generally being overwhelmed with the adjustment to motherhood... I had no confidence in my parenting ability and figured mum did alright with me so I didn't have any worries, kwim? It's a different story now, DD2 only just had her first sleepover at nanna and poppy's the weekend before last because DH and I got a last-minute invite to go to the Gold Coast and I jumped at it because we've never had a trip as a couple, not even since before DD1 was born. It was a bit hard for me because we were 7 hours away and DD2 is definitely more of a mummy's girl than DD1 (who will go to anybody and be happy lol), but we both survived and I had a great time
if that counts.
Coz I am shocking
... So Queen you give me hope, lol
) and neither of us were there. I think its up to you, but it would have to be someone you trust 100%, someone DD knows really, really well and feels totally safe with. But with N's health issues I can definitely understand your caution. No rush ... and of course you need to be ready too!
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