Jet lag - PLEASE HELP

[Sammiejane]

MJ and i have just returned from 3 weeks in the UK, honestly i think that it was the best thing that i have done with her, all that time one on one, no distractions, other kids, new toys, new fantastic expereinces....

BUT she is now exceptionally clingy...
when we were away, if she woke in the night, she would come straiaght into my bed so that she wouldnt wake the house up (at home this would happen occasionally) - i did like it, but it is not something that really can continue at home as DH smokes and she figgets so much that no one really gets that much sleep.

She is suffering horrifically from jet lag atm, going there was fine, she slotted back into her sleep pattern immediatley, which is bed 7-7.30pm, wake between 11-1am (come in to my bed while we are away or pat to sleep at home) then wake at 4.30-5.30am for a feed then sleep again until 7.30-8am
Now that we are back, she will go down well at bed time (i usually feed to sleep anyway) but will wake at about 10pm... then if she comes into bed with us or lies in my arms, she will sleep on and off until 2 am, waking every 30mins, sitting up talking, moving around changing position and occasionally crying. Around 2am she wants a feed, and she feeds for almost an hour, then she will sleep until the morning without stirring. She is buggered in the day, but i cant let her sleep (other than her after lunch sleep) as she needs to get back into the right day night pattern...

We have tried (unsucessfully) to get her back to sleep in her cot...she will cry until she is picked up (patting wont work) and the fall asleep in my arms, if i try and put her down it wakes her and she starts crying, actually its screaming and begging me, calling mum mum mumma, we tried last night to resettle her in the cot and it was the most heartbreaking thing EVER i was in tears, DH found it really hard too...
In the end we got her off to sleep, but she work every 15-20mins in tears. At no time did i leave her while she was awake or distressed.
I sung to her, patted or stroked her,shushed her etc etc... picking her up would settle her immediatly, but i couldnt put her down (she would wake and scream immediatly) after 2 hours, we broght her in bed with us, and she still did her usual thing until 2am.

I am exhaused, i have not caught up from my jet lag and i dont know what to do.
Dh and i thought that maybe we will try resettleing in her cot again tonight, again it will probably take an hour of crying, but she has to learn to go back to it, doesnt she???

Is it too early, should we let her just sleep in our bed until she is back into a better sleeping pattern and then start it?
The big thing that is playing on my mind is that i dont want her to resent her Daddy, he wasnt away with us, and now that i am home i sleep with him and not her kwim???

I have also thought about getting something to help her sleep (like medication), i dont want to, but if it was me suffering, i would take something so that i was back in my sleeping pattern, shouldnt i then do the same for her?
I just feel so awful about the whole thing...

Please, anyone with any solutions they t\would be much appreciated. i cant bare my baby to be so tired and out of sorts, i broke my heart last night

[~Trish~]

That sounds very tiring! I don't have much advice for jetlag, hopefully she will fall back into a pattern soon. It will take a good couple of weeks for things to go back to normal.

You post reminded me of something my chiro told me recently. Apparently each of our organs operates at it's peak during certain times of the day and when we have been travelling it upsets our body clock and our organs. My chiro (who specialises in alternative therapies also) said she has people come to her all the time and she is able to realign their body clocks so to speak! They then feel back to normal really quickly. This may be something worth looking into if things don't get any better? If you're near the Eastern suburbs, my chiro is in Blackburn and I'm happy to forward on her details . She works on babies and children all the time.

I hope everything goes back to normal for your guys soon!

[Phteven]

I find that it always takes at least a week for the boys to reset their body clocks after being OS.
I can't advise you on the cot issue because we co-sleep but I'm sure that if you make changes gently she'll cope.
It's always hard to adjust after a holiday but I think for our littlies it's even harder because 3 weeks is such a long time in their time frame compared to ours. If you have a nap when she does during the day it might help you to catch up on your sleep - when I'm rested it's always easier for me to cope

[Sammiejane]

THanks guys, you are so right 3 weeks is like a lifetime for them - or 14th of her little life, which when you think about it like that it really is a long time... that helps put it in perspective

Well she slept only for an hour at FDC today, so with that coupled with the fact that she woke at normal time this morning, maybe she is slowly starting to adapt.
I spoke with my friend who is a homeopath and she told me which of my box full or remedies may help her tonight if she wakes and has the angry/screaming cry... it wont help the jet lag, but if she is more settled and less destressed, it will be so much better for her.

Trish you are right about the body clock, our circadian rhythm

A circadian rhythm is a roughly-24-hour cycle in the biochemical, physiological or behavioural processes of living entities,

is what controls the body functions, hormones and things like stomach emptying, digestion, hormone release etc etc. I myself have noticed that i am going to the toilet (wee) more frequently in the night than the day, so obviously my hormones are still out of whack

Anyway, thanks for the support, i will let you know how we go tonight

[Mother Goose]

Oh hon! How did you go last night? I hope MJ settles soon!

FWIW, I always find after even a short break where DD and I have lots of 1:1 time, she is very clingy afterwards and wants in our bed all the time. We slowly reintergrate the previous techniques we employ.

I hope you can get some rest soon and that MJ is able to settle back into a routine as well.

MG

[C~Q]

Hey hon, i've gone over to the UK for 6 weeks at a time with all three of my kids at various ages and I feel your pain You're right, going over there is fine but coming back is so hard and i've found, after trying everything, is that all you can do is pretty much lock yourself away for a week, don't try and get anywhere at a certain time and sleep whenever they do. Slowly try and encourage them (like pushing sleep times out or earlier about an hour at a time) but don't have ANY expectations or you'll just be dissapointed!

I remember just being a walking zombie and crying at the drop of a hat for that week, but then they do get over it!

After the jet lag and the flight, you wonder if it's really worth it but it is!

[Sammiejane]

Slowly getting better, She is not so distraught anymore.
We can at times settle her back to sleep, and sometimes she wakes and then goes back herself, but we are still bringing her in bed (i love it to be honest!!!)

Her body clock is still off, she wants a feed at midnight which is 3pm in the UK, so would coincide with her afternoon feed (she has dropped that one at home - i just cos she thinks it the wrong time here), so last night i gave her a sipply cup with water, she had a massive drink and figgeted, but went to sleep with much less fuss than other nights.

Its still really hard and i am back at work today, i was up at 5.30 and i really didnt get any good sleep before 1am, so i am feeling it. But slowly its getting better.
She is having a night with Nanna tonight (she was away with me, so i know that she will not be frantic there and Mum is happy to put her in bed with her if needed) so i am hoping for a better night sleep - even though i need to be up at 5.30 again!!!

[didispunk]

I would see your doc, and get something to help her.
I have done the O/S trip to canada lots with babies and 1 week to get over it is normally ok.. any longer i would get help.

[beckoes]

Interesting, im in the UK atm and DD has gone in to the new time zone really well, but i was thinking that it will probably be hard going back. When she wakes up i don the sme and bring her into my bed so she doesnt wake everyone up, im really enjoying the co-sleeping and think i will probably carry it on when we get home anyway (DH smokes aswell and this is why we havent done it before)
She has become a little clingy here, not keen on going to other people as much, but then there has been SO many new people to see that i can understand.
Hope that everthing is starting to settle down for you now. Im abit worried about how DD will be with DH when we get back, when he talks to her on the phone she always smiles, grabs the phone and says 'dadada' the last few times she has been really uninterested....probably just too much other stuff going on.

[Sammiejane]

Hey Bec,
Same story as us really.... We stopped talking about DH as she became a bit upset sometimes (MJ is a bit older though)
on the flight we talked no stop about Dadda and you know i need not have worried, it was all smiles and cuddles.
A week on, things are a bit better.... last night she woke at midnight, we patted back to sleep and she slept through until 6.30!!!! thats better than before we left!
Cutting back the co sleeping as although i love it, it does make it hard for the one night a week that she is with Nanna (i work long hours and its easier for Mum not to be running back and forth)

When you get back, be prepared for some bad nights, if your not working it will be better.
I found that making the room darker helped and making sure that she was outside early in the morning so that her body clock started to reset.

There is so much going on in a new country that it is easier to adjust, but when your body has to do it again in a short period there are problems
goodluck

[beckoes]

hey SJ, wasjust wondering how things went for you, everything back to normal, did you manage to get her back into her room ok?? we got back a week ago. She was sleeping in bed with me the whole time we were away and im finding it hard to get her back into being happy in her bed. i out her down in her cot at night but she is waking every hour-two hours, in the end i just bring her into bed with me and she sleeps fine for hours!! not sure what to tryt there
it took us a while to get her out of wanting to sleep all day and being awake all night but she is just getting there now.
And as for how she is getting on with her dad! well, she is loving him SO much now, hugs, kisses, wants him do do everything with her, which is lovely, so nice to watch them together!

[Sammiejane]

Hey Bec,

Things are OK now, she is still waking in the night, but that is just her, she was doing before we went away anyway..
To get her ack into her cot, we would put her down in the cot and then as soon as she woke i would be in there (we were actually considering me spending a few nights in her room, but she managed OK this way... and i stayed in the room with her until she went back to sleep... this involved patting singing and shushing... it was really hard but we decided that after a couple of goes of getting her out of the cot and rocking her (in the rocking chair) back to sleep, that we had to make that step of not picking her up.
This was the hardest part, i wont lie, there were tears and crying, but only for 2 nights. i am a fan of no cry slep solutions, but with this i decided that we had to take a harder stance...
I never left her and i had my arms throuugh the cot cuddling her andlaying her back down and comforting her. she actually coped well with it .

Great that she loves her Daddy so much, its seems that MJ loves DH more too, they are fatastic together and its so lovely to see.

Hang in there, it will get better.
THere is nothing wrong with leaving her in bed with you, if you are all happy, if it wasnt for my work i think we wuld co-sleep more often. Do what you are comfortable with, if that means having her in bed with you, do it, but if you want to/need to get her out, try and do it as gently as possible.. i dont know if they way we did it was right, but it seemed to work and she is sleeping well again now (for her any way)