What do you do when your child chucks a tantrum?

[blackduckies]

Ignore it, the sooner he learns you don't take any notice the sooner he will stop!! At the moment its all in his favour mummy holds him so he does'nt get hurt etc so he is given the fuel to keep doing it, it works really well..or so he thinks.
I really like the ad that used to be on T.V the kid starts to chuck a tantrum so the mum joins in and chucks a wobbly and lays on the supermarket floor and squeals, gee I have been tempted!!!

[feeb]

At home I ignore him. If we are out I will ignore him unless he is likely to hurt himself by falling or something if being held etc.

We dont want to fuel him into thinking its a good way to get attention.

The squeeling we tend to ignore or say shhhhhh if out in public eg a restaurant.

Sorry if no help really as we are also trying to figure it all out

[~Kim~]

meh, I'm still figuring it out. FWIW I've had years pf practice with adults tantruming in my paddy wagon and the same techniques work with them lol.

What worked with DD was me using a low even tone, down at her level and just quietly. I would say "when you're finished let me know" and walk away. Even now she sings out after a couple of seconds "I'm finished mum!"....deal over lets move on to something else.
If she's being dangerous/kicking/arching whatever I pick her up and put her in her room. Not as punisment just because it's safe and her space in there....and I don't have to watch the tantrum which just gets me antsy. I have added "I'm not going to tolerate that behaviour" to the monologue.
While they are so little I didn't find explanation worked for us (and even with fantastic linguistic and understanding skills, only occasionally), just as long as she knew what I expected.

When we're out I use the same monologue and we go to the car if she hasn't stopped on three and go home. Only took a couple of times of ceasing activity before she understood.

[jackrose]

I would say "when you're finished let me know" and walk away. Even now she sings out after a couple of seconds "I'm finished mum!"

Who would have thought Kim that your work was really training for your toddler's tantrums!

I second the ignore rule. Sometimes I might say something along the lines of "It seems you are a bit angry? Why don't you get it out of your system and let me know when you are finished" and then leave DD to it. I find it doesn't last long if she doesn't have an audience.

WRT the out in public tanties, I am a fan of the cease the activity and go method too. I remember Mum doing this with us and we all knew that if mum was threatening to go home, we were going home unless we behaved quick smart. It did mean that mum had to do it a few times to get the lesson drummed in, but it was effective. In the middle of a checkout line is a tough one. You could ask them to hold your groceries for you until you were able to come back (and hopefully not have any ice-cream/freezer items in there).

[Fig]

For my DD it depends on what the tantrum is about. If its because she wanted something like 'ice cream ' and I said no and its just a tantrum to see if I might give in then I will ignore it. However, I often find that many of the tantrums she has are about her feeling out of control with her emotions. For me to walk away from her when she is in need of my help doesn't help her. I will ask her if she needs a cuddle, if she does, I give her one then when she has calmed down, we talk about what is going on for her. If she doesn't want a cuddle, i just sit by her and let her know I am there for her. Showing her kindness through her emotional melt downs has lessened the amount of tantrums she has. Also, I try to predict when a situation may cause one, like boredom, hunger, etc and head it off before it happens. Easier said then done somedays.