What do you do with your clingy toddler...

[Artechim]

...when you are giving birth to another baby?

DS is 21 months old, he has never been left with anyone besides DH and myself. We are not sure what to do when I have the new baby in 3 months. We live a couple of hours away from family and have no friends in the area that I know well enough to leave him with.

ATM it seems that DH is just going to have to miss the birth to look after DS. He would like to be there, I don't mind labouring alone but would like him to be there for the actual birth. If it were to happen at night time there is a lady down the road that could come to the house while DS was asleep for a couple of hours but if it was during the day we are stuck.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Homebirth or have your toddler with you in the hospital birth suite?

Maybe if you have someone that you can start getting your DS used to spending 2 hours with a couple of times a week then it won't be an issue if he goes to that persons house when push comes to... well, push and your DH goes to the hospital to be with you.

Best of luck to you.

[Ginger]

ohh arte- we had a similar dilemma.
in the end, it turned out ok cos my dad ended up taking a week off work (i got induced after my edd so we knew the exact day) and ds1 ended up staying at his house for 2 nights.
is there any family members that could come and stay with you for a week or so?
otherwise i might consider having dh stay with ds and getting a doula just so you're not birthing alone.but i have to tell you,i would've really struggled with ds2's birth without dh. he was my rock

[Artechim]

Ryn, DH and I agree that DS would be too upset seeing me in labour, so taking him with is out. He also packs it big time when stuck in little boring rooms lol There is no one around here that I know well enough to leave him with, even for a couple of hours let alone a day/night (I am a Nigel!)

Rainy, nope, no family that could come up for that long. Maybe my cousin could but she has a 4 year old and I couldn't stand the constant chatter at the end of pregnancy/early labour lol.

DS won't go to sleep for anyone but me. We are working hard atm to get him to go to bed with DH and it is slowly working. But there is no way that he would go to sleep for anyone else without crying for hours.

I don't think NZ has doula's lol, but we do have an independent midwife allocated who is there entirely for that one client during labour so I won't be completely alone.

I guess there is no real solution, I was just having a big whinge about it.

[MamaPan]

hugs Arte - have been having the same dilemmas...
There is no way I can have DS with me, he would FREAK. he lost it at the ob the other day when he took my BP.
I have asked a friend to watch him and come over if it happens at night... i figure a bad night if he wakes and is upset is what we will have to deal with - he ca watch tv with her or something if he wont settle... it isnt ideal but it is the best we can do...
I think just decide what you are doing and then plan for that - but def good idea to get him to settle with DH too, for that day and all the days that follow when you will also have the nb to care for. I am lucky that DS will settle/go to sleep for DH and my mum - it is now just a challenge toget him to STAY asleep. you have time to work on DH settling him honey which will be a weight off your mind...