thread: What lessons have you learned that you won't repeat with baby no.2?

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    374

    What won't you repeat with your next baby?

    Just wondering what you have learned from having your baby, that you wouldn't repeat with your next one? Such as rocking baby to sleep, dummies, routines, feeding and sleeping habits etc?

    I'm a new mummy trying to find my way, and you hear a lot of 'that will make a rod for your back' comments about things...

    So what wouldn't you do next time around?
    Last edited by Kristin27; July 23rd, 2008 at 08:11 PM. : Re-wording of topic heading.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Melbourne
    832

    Well I wouldn't actually call them lessons but I agree there are things that I would LIKE to do diff - depends on baby though! That's the first thing I have learnt - even if you want something to happen it doesn't mean they want it to! Like routines - I've tried to have a routine but it simply doesn't work - I have to watch DD's tired signs and put her down then rather than watching the clock. Other things I would prob do diff:

    1. DEF give a bottle daily or weekly so she stays used to it (my DD had bottle early on of EBM then stopped and now refuses it!)

    2. Not get DD up at every cry because sometimes she was just protesting and not really crying

    3. Not let her get overtired - we kept her up for nearly 10 hrs once thinking she was happy - DER!!!!!!

    4. Give sips of water from cup earlier - maybe before 6 months

    That's all I can think of - nothing major and just because we did those things doesn't mean it's all bad thoough it would be so handy if she did take a bottle! Good luck!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Sep 2006
    the mulberry bush
    895

    hmmmm i guess i have the opposite opinion than the 'rod for your own backers'...

    for me i plan on cuddling, holding, feeding, rocking, singing, tickling - really doing anything that helps bubs to sleep..... i especially plan on cuddling as much as is humanly possible, as once they grow out of it you can never get it back

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    North Sydney
    133

    I'd take a year off work to breastfeed for that long at least and I'd stress less during the newborn phase and learn to enjoy my bubba more cos they grow up too fast!!

    neuri

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    perth western australia
    545

    my boys are only 13 months apart but are as different as chalk and cheese, so they were so different to have as newborns.

    i would be a bit firmer with night time sleep routines. also i would refrain from buying too much extra stuff, like clothes and all the fancy gadgets that really dont come in handy. people tend to give you alot of clothing and i got heaps of good cheap clothes from markets.

    Dont have too many visitors when you first come home as you personally will want to settle into some sort of routine.

    and i wouldnt tiptoe around as much as i did with my first. its easier to have a moderate amount of "usual" noise and activity. we were so quiet for our first but had no choice with the second, but to be louder as we had an active toddler clanging around. He slept alot easier than our first

    good luck...

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    3,562

    Ahhhh, I had such plans for my second baby...unfortunately, he didn't agree with all of them!

    That's one lesson I've learnt...you can have the best of intentions, but at the end of the day you need to do what you're baby needs, and that's not always necessarily the way you want things to be.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sydney
    168

    Definately feed feed feed (when it comes to breastfeeding) at the beginning to make sure i establish a really good breastfeeding relationship asap! As i have had some issues with DD breastfeeding and have had to comp feed. Which i feel guilty about, but next time I will not stuff it up.
    Also realising how important the whole "sleep" thing is, ie watching for tired signs and putting them down as soon as i realise they are tired.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    In a land of bubbles and trouble
    1,479

    We don't do things to intentionally make it harder for us - we do what we can and the BEST we can at the time for us to cope!

    With DS I was very much listening to the whole - don't let him fall asleep in your arms all the time, don't spoil him, don't feed him in bed - all great MIL advice who didn't breastfeed lol. 5 years later, I gotta say he is a wonderful little sleeper ... but he would have got there anyway - he really was a good sleeper anyway but being my first I didn't know ..... until DD came along and I found out what 2 year sleep deprivation was like LOL

    With DD I cuddled her all the time, fed her in bed, fed her o/n longer (she was littler) - basically we did whatever we could to make our family life happy!

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    rothwell,QLD
    1,135

    We dont rock DD to sleep. We just put her in her cot after her shower/bath and she just goes off to sleep.

    Oh and she does not come into our bed.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Dec 2004
    Sydney
    1,444

    What I would do different:

    1. I wouldn't be introducing the bottle so soon (or ever). DD was only weeks old when i gave her breast milk in a bottle. I wasn't comfortable breastfeeding in public. My let down was very slow (which I worked out later on) and there was no waiting for the milk to come out of the bottle, it was instant. So DD picked up on that very quickly and at 10wks refused me. I couldn't do anything to get her back on boob. I did express untill she was 4months old and then I had no more milk left. So yes that is one lesson I learnt.

    2. To take the dummy away from them sooner. DD still has a dummy for bed and she got quite attached to it. Her two front teeth have now been pushed forward due to this. Her adult teeth will come through fine but yes it is something I will try and stop while they are younger.

    That's about it.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Sydney
    4,081

    Hey Kristin, I agree with Suse. Don't listen to people who give you such useless advice. Nothing is set in stone - if you or your baby doesn't like the way you're doing things, change! If you are both happy with it, don't! I'm sure you are doing such a WONDERFUL job with your little bubba Hang in there, and try to enjoy her as much as you can.

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Jun 2006
    596

    I would have 'selective deafness' to some/a lot of the 'advice' that older people (eg grandparents) give...most of it it outdated and irrelevant...

    I'd also make sure I give a bottle from early on at least once a day if I am able to breast feed again...DS took a bottle for a few weeks then we stopped for a trip to WA, then wouldn't take it again at all...he had 3 months without any milk from 12 months of age (wouldn't take any milk at all in a cup or bottle or whatever)...

    Wouldn't let bub get so tired, hard with a reflux baby who's in pain but I guess I know more these days about tired signs too...