I also think there's no "right" answer to this question and it's a matter of personal preference.
Our experience? We have 23 months between our two - DS has arrived smack bang in time for the worst of DD's "terrible two" phase. So it hasn't been easy. In fact some days have been downright horrible.
But after nearly 4 months we're starting to find our groove and things are improving and getting much easier (thank goodness).
There is the same age gap between my brother and myself and we are really close so I'm hoping for the same for my two as well - DD is really besotted with her little brother and that part is just lovely to watch
I agree that it is a personal thing and there is no right answer.
I have 19 months between the boys (Would have been 20 but Tom couldn't wait to meet his brother LOL!!). I love having them close as they get along so well, and the feedback I get from others is that it usually stays that way. If I have another it will be close too. Jack wasn't old enough to experience jealousy, he has been too busy loving his brother! But got to warn you, while I love it and wouldn't change a thing, and I'm sure the boys aren't missing out on anything, life is pretty busy around here!
One other thing to consider too, I like the idea of doing the "baby thing" in one hit. I think it would be really hard to have the older one out of nappies and sleeping through and quite independent and then have to start all over again with another one (again, this is a personal thing). I would rather get through that stage and move on IYKWIM? I'm already doing nappies for one, so it's not a shock to be doing it for another etc. Anyway, just a thought.
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