When to have a 2nd??...What's it like to have a toddler and newborn??

[MantaRay]

There is no "right" gap between kids. Whatever happens you make it work. There is 19 months between my boys (would have 20 if Tom wasn't early). I love it and they get along really well but it is definitely busy and there have been some tough times. Also don't forget to factor in being pg with a littlie - this is not easy in itself - even apart from m/s, do you remember first tri tiredness? So don't go into it thinking it will be a breeze, you will have moments, but then that's what parenting is all about. If it's what you want, go for it. There is nothing that warms my heart more than watching my boys playing together and lighting up at the sight of each other. It makes everything worth it.

[tempus moriendi]

There's pros and cons to close spacing and far spacing. If you space them farther apart, the older one is more independent and able to help. If you space them close, you get the diapers and stuff "over with" more quickly.

My 1st and 2nd were 3 3/4 years apart, so I didn't have to do as much for the older one. And, he pushed himself to be more independent (ie "I can dress myself--not like the BABY")

My 2nd and third were 2 1/2 years apart but it wasn't hard to have two in diapers. But I think diapers are easier than that first year of potty training. They are pals and they play together.

Now my youngest is almost five, and we haven't been able to have another yet, despite trying. But if we do, that will really be a gap! Good luck.