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Thread: When is socialising important?

  1. #1

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    Default When is socialising important?

    I consider myself a very laid back mum.. and people often comment on how content both Tallon & I are, but I now have one thing playing on my mind.. about socialising him enough! DH assures me he freaks out when other people hold him because the timing is always bad, like when he's overtired or hungry or something.

    It just seems he's a real mummy's boy, and I worry that I'm not exposing him to enough people. I work mostly from home, so don't do coffee or anything with girlfriends, we do go out a couple of evenings a week to bible meetings, so he sees people then, but like I said, he's usually tired and freaks out with the number of people.

    If we have people around to dinner, he's usually ok.



    I dunno.. it just plays on my mind, that I should be making the effort to get together with people more often so he gets used to them? I don't want to join mothers group or anything.. just doesn't appeal.

    He's only nearly 4 months old.. when should I really start to worry about it? He's such a happy baby, so long as I'm holding him! hehe.

  2. #2

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    I think everything is so new for them at Tallon's age that very often socialising is more for mums than bubs. Having said that Sammy really seems to enjoy the interaction with other bubs. It seems like they have their own little way of communicating. I honestly wouldnt stress about him needing other people just yet..he has plenty of time. Just do what you feel comfortable with.

    Jo

  3. #3
    Kell Guest

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    I agree that you should go with what you feel comfortable with. i think most babies have separation anxiety for anywhere up to 12 months and dont necessarily like other people. Molly didnt go to any playgroups or anything b4 preschool, she did have one friend that she played with regularly tho. my mchn seemed to think that by the age of 2 she needed some sort of social interactions...hth Kell

  4. #4

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    I think most babies are like that from Tallon's age. Emily was really bad for a while there - she screamed blue murder whenever anyone besides me, DH or my mother came near her. She did improve dramatically when she started family daycare at about 8 months (just two days a week and her FDC also happens to be DH's mum ). I don't know if it was just that she was starting to grow out of it anyway, or if it really helped but there def was a change then.
    We noticed another significant improvement around the time she started walking as well. Now she is absolutely fine with people and she doesn't scream at them anymore. I wouldn't worry too much.

  5. #5

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    Ivana, I've found Maddy to the complete opposite...from birth she loved the attention and liked meeting new people. Whilst we tried not to pass her from pillar to post; she certainly didn't complain when the family were together and they all wanted a hold. She appeared very calm and at ease with all the cuddles.

    In the last month however; she's gone the opposite. To a certain degree she flips out if there are new faces in the room and when that happens, NO-ONE is good enough other than Mummy. Not Daddy, not Aunty Leah. Only Mum. She gets very clingy and I felt horrible when I left her with my sister for a few hours so we could have a 'date' night.

    I've come to realise that as many of the other girls have said; babies have separation anxiety at different ages. Perhaps even their developmental stages affect this too? They also feed off your emotions too...so if you're stressed having people around to visit or whatever; I honestly believe that bubs will react to that too.

    I don't think that at just under 4 months that it's necessarily important for a baby to socialise. They socialise with Daddy & Mummy (and siblings if they have them) every day when you think about it. Perhaps just continue as you're doing, making Tallon feel safe and loved; so if he does stress out when other people are around he'll always know you're there to support him.

  6. #6
    Kirsty77 Guest

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    Gemma has been in daycare since she was 4 months(3 days a week) and is still incredibly clingy with Corey and I. SHe still takes a little while to get comfortable at daycare and just around other people in general. She used to be good with new faces but since then she is now going through seperation anxiety stage! I say go with the flow. At 4 months they don't really need to be socialised as they are to little to understand.

  7. #7

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    Thanks girls. He used to be a VERY sociable little thing. Just the last couple of weeks, no-one except mummy is good enough. Even DH is having rejection issues. LOL. We're all pretty relaxed.. and he's quite happy to talk and smile at everyone so long as he's in my arms. He's just suddenly decided that he doesn't like being held by other people now. His social circle majority of the time is me, DH & nana, and then people coming up to say hello if we're out anywhere.. and occassional visitors for dinner or something. Don't know why I'm worried about it really.. he's only 4 months! and teething time is probably coming up fast.

    I think I feel a bit of pressure to join mothers groups, or go to activity centres etc etc, but even DH & I aren't that sociable, that sort of thing just isnt us. I'm determined not to have a "busy" child with too many scheduled activities. I reckon kids are happy just playing at home and occassionaly with friends. *shrug* (my nephew is one of those stressed out "over-socialised" kids. Never has his own time at home which I think is sad. School holidays are so booked out, I don't even get a chance to see him )

    Anyway I'm waiting for a friend of mine who's ttc to give Tallon a little friend to play with! hehe. I'm sure we'll be fine. Thanks for the reassurance everyone.

  8. #8

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    Ivana,
    Indah was fine then really clingy at about 5-6 months where she'd cry if I wasnt in the same room as her, even if DH was there & he started talking to her or going to pick her up she'd reach out & cry, I hated it, as i felt bad... She'd be happy to go to my sis or Mum as they abby sit her while I am at work, but all of a sudden she had become aware of who was around her & who wasnt!!!
    So Dh fed her bottles of EBM at night rather than feeding from me so she started to like him again...
    But if anyone walked in & said "Hello Indah" She'd scream! A few of our friends thought she didnt like them... But now she crawls up to everyone, inspects them, pulls thier hair, faces etc...
    Maybe tallon is just starting to fully recognise who is who &who feeds him etc...
    He will be fine!

  9. #9

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    My DS was definitely like that, at 3 Months, even with his Nan and Pop. He is one now, and I am thinking of putting him in Day care for a day a week, to mingle with the other kids. DS definitely needs other stimulation now.

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