I knew it would be hard, sleepless nights, dirty diapers etc, and I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional impact of this. I didn't realise that I'd feel rejected by my baby, when she screamed and arched her back. I thought that I'd know exactly what to do, every time she cried. Whilst I can settle her immediately now, back then, we were only just getting to know each other. I had the romantic expectations that motherhood would be what it is like in the TV ads and magazines, all white linen and cuddles. I never expected though, to feel my heart melt, when she is crying in someones elses arms, and stops as soon as I pick her up. It is such an amazing feeling to know that I am her world. Somehow I also expected that I'd still have a clean house... well it isn't dirty as such, but it is messy. It's because we spend pretty much the whole day playing together. I feel like I just don't want to miss a moment. I thought I would never have wanted to breastfeed, and that was true for the first little while. Now, the bond between Annika and I is so deep, that I would love to have breastfeed her, it's now too late.I expected to want the newborn stage to last forever, but in hindsight, I'm so glad it's over, and I'm loving this stage, and looking forward to the next. I never thought I would be one of those mums, that goes to every baby activity etc, but we are out every day of the week.... and I love it. I just love my daughter so so much, more than I could ever have expected. She is my world.