Hubby was happy with just one ...I begged to get number 2..then when we notcied his behaviour jed said no more and reluctantly I agreed to ber my tubes clamped. I woke from the surgery crying knowing straight away I had done the wrong thing but had to live with knowing I wouldnt have any more children. My heart broken when I saw pg woman on the street and was jealous and felt evil when friends fell pg ....
I went to the doctors when I notcied a lump in my groin....I grew extremely concerned as cervical cancer runs in my family. My gp sent me for bloods and an emergency u/s and had already rung to book me in for further testing until......when I had my u/s instead of having cancer I was 8 weeks pg . My baby had already died and I had to process loosing them as well as having been pg with my tubes done. I fell twice more and failed to go further then 7 weeks......

And my hubby understood when I asked him if I could get my tubes reversed and try for another baby.

He knew before I knew that I was pg and was estatic when our darling Vyolett entered the world 2 weeks early, a day before fathers days.

He again said no more but he knew how much I wanted just one more...and now we have Mateauz.

I have since had my tubes removed......I still feel twinges of guilt...another baby would have been nice, another little nose to wipe and small's arms to feel wrapped around me with love...but I suppose I have to draw the line somewere......even if its hurts deep inside.

hon......