I know. I don't get it either. Just so you are prewarned - Ezzo (the author of babywise) uses a few different titles, some to distinguish between his 'Christian' parenting program and Babywise is the secular version where all the 'Christian' stuff is removed. His most well known program around churches is 'Growing Kids God's Way'. The infant one also goes under the name 'Preparation for Parenting'. Anyway ...
I have a few friends that use it and I don't really like it. Everything is so rigid. As much as I disagree with the fact that he is allowed to publish rubbish like that (and as a Christian I do take exception to his outlandish claim that it is 'God's way' but that is a whole other thread) and it is so medically unsound, but I am torn also between respecting the right of my friends to parent how they see fit. I don't like that the information in his book is preached and passed around at all and that people think it is wonderful.
Do you know the honest reason that I think most people go along with it - they are scared. His book pretty much promises that unless you do these things to your baby/toddler/child and discipline them and not let up that they will grow up to be rebellious terrors. I think the people that use the book are trying really hard to find the magic formula that means that their kids won't get into trouble and they will be able to have great 'relationships' with them as teenagers. Their idea of a relationship with their child and mine, tend to be a little different. They want kids who will obey their words because to them that is what makes them good parents (I am not saying that in a judgemental way - if people want that, then each to their own).
I want kids that are emotionally intelligent and aware and are able to express their feelings and emotions so that they can acheive what they want in life. I don't feel this program is at all useful for creating kids that are emotionally aware and in fact, treats certain emotions as 'wrong' or 'sinful'. I think all emotions should be embraced and understood and expressed appropriately. I think this is how you create empathy for others as well. I think by denying certain emotions, kids become frustrated and repressed. They often can't understand how others feel because they don't understand it when they feel it.
The whole Ezzo thing is maddening really. If people want to use it, then each to their own but I hate the culture of pushing it onto other people. I also hate the attitude that Ezzo's way is the only way and that anyone not using it is wrong. I am confident about what I am doing (which is conscious parenting) but I still find myself doubting whether I am doing the right thing when someone starts going on at me about Ezzo because everything I do is so opposite to Ezzo and Ezzo sounds like an expert when he says that doing these things will create issues. I have to remind myself that while he talks with a lot of authority on the subject, he is just full of crap and he is using scare tactics but has no basis for backing up what he says.
I read just about every baby/parenting book under the sun prior to DD's arrival, I thought I was all prepared and ready to face anything ... once she arrived and made it clear she was her own little person and didn't fit a pattern/routine, most of the books went out the window.
We had to find what worked for us.
Nowadays I find I borrow parenting advice in snippets, a little from one book, advice from a friend and maybe another idea from someone else's book.
No one book has all the answers and well, some are just plain rubbish but you have to try it out for yourself.
You do have to respect other parenting techniques though - even if they are in direct opposition to your own.
It is everyone's right to raise their child, and if the books by Ezzo are so tremendously popluar then the techniques must work for some types of parents.
I personally hate these types of parenting books, well all of them really, unless its comically done like the UTD book by Kaz whatshername.
I DID however really like the WOnderWeeks book. I wouldn't say its a parenting book, I just know that whenever DD seems to be a real turd I'd go to the book and yep sure enough we'd be smack in the middle of a wonder week. It did little to offer real help but I found that just knowing what was happening to her to help cause the behaviour was such a comfort.
I think someone else also suggested it, but I'd buy them another book one that is more of a gentle parenting one and slip it in as a present along with something else.
You never know, just because people think a certain way BEFORE a baby comes doesn't mean they will think the same way afterwards.
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