Reply With QuoteLea, sometimes they buck the system. That's toddlerdom for you. My advice would be that you stop looking for what you are doing wrong and accept that no matter WHAT you do, if there is a boundary they will test it.
DD will not allow me to spoonfeed her. SHe feeds herself and will not eat if i am near her - she just chucks the food on the floor. I have found the best thing to do is give her something visually identical to what i am eating, put her in her high chair (she complains, but i ignore her) fasten her in so she can't climb out, give her a drink, her food and her spoon/fork, and leave her to it (i'm either at the table but not close enough to touch her or sat to the side on the sofa a few feet away). I do not watch her or comment or interfere in any way. If i so much as pick up something she can't reach unless she has asked me to she hits the roof. Most days she feeds herself peacefully. Today she chucked stew everywhere, but if i try to help she ALWAYS chucks food everywhere so it's worth the risk for a chance she'll do it rather than a certainty.
There is a babylock on her bedroom door. THis is mainly because i'm a single parent and worry she'll get up in the night and harm herself, but it also means i know once she's in bed she is absolutely safe (there is nothing in her room she can harm herself on). At bedtime i give her a bath or a shower, brush her teeth and read her a story, then i put her to bed, turn the lights off and fasten the child lock on the way out. If she gets up i go into her room and say "It's bedtime. Get back in bed" and make her do so. If she won't i pick her up and put her in bed. I do not shout but i *insist*. She will get back in bed even as she cries and shouts "naughty mummy!" at me. I then tuck her in, kiss her, and say "Night night baby" and leave immediately. I do not get her up under any circumstances. I do not linger in there under any circumstances. I do not talk with her, debate bedtime, offer toys or books apart from her comfort toy, or get into anything at all. Most of the time i don't even look right at her. If she is crying and distressed i will cuddle her and say "shhh, it's bedtime baby" and put her back in bed. She has a comfort toy i make sure she always has, and a cup of water in case she is thirsty in the night (she doesn't get bottles ever or anything but water after teeth brushing). Most nights she settles without problems, every now and again she won't go to sleep and i am putting her back in her cot every 10 minutes for 3 hours. This is fine. The rules remain. Bedtime is bedtime.
If i were you i'd decide how you want things to be and then go through the motions again and again until he gets it. He will ALWAYS test you, especially when he knows you are tired and sick (he'll have noticed mumma isn't going her normal speed), it is normal and shows what a bright, observant little boy you have.
Some kids, DD is one, it sounds like Nixon is one too, find it really hard to "let go" of the day and go to sleep. They are smart, they are afraid they might miss something, so they fight it and fight it until they are exhausted and can barely function. It's normal. To combat it i try to be very firm about bedtime and very calm in the face of her cries and screams and tantrums - i'm trying to show her, see, mumma isn't acting worried because sleep isn't worrying, it's good. Sleep is a nice bit of the day.
FWIW i try to wind her down for at least an hour before her shower/bath, so no running about outside, no songs except slow lullaby ones, nothing "exciting" at all. I try to make everything calm and slow and boring so that going to sleep isn't a wrench away from potential fun stuff.
Hang in there hun. If you must judge your parenting by results, wait until he is AT LEAST 30.
Bx
i will go in and give him a book to clam him down and at least get quiet time ...
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