DD stopped day sleeps before she turned one, and has always been a poor sleeper. We ended up co-sleeping just so we could all get some sleep.
We always had to sit with her to sleep, she'd never drift off on her own. We went from her only falling asleep in my arms, to only falling asleep in DH's arms, to falling asleep in the cot provided one of us was sitting beside her and touching her arm or rubbing her back.
It went on for months. I remember sitting beside her until 10-11 at night, trying to get her to sleep and feeling like DH and I had no life together because one of us was always trying to get her to sleep (she'd go to bed around 7.30). And then as soon as we went to bed, she'd wake up. I wrote posts about it at the time.
We moved on to me ignoring her as she was falling asleep, still sitting in the room with her, but she'd fall asleep quicker than if we were giving her attention. Not long after that, I started to leave the room when she was awake and she would fall asleep within a few minutes. She got a lot better about actually going to bed once we took the sides off the cot.
Full nights sleep though, I can count on one hand. A couple of days before NYE, she slept through so from that point on, when she got up at night, I took her back to bed. A couple of times, I lay down with her, but mostly now I just pop her back to bed and leave the room again. We've had three nights this week where she has slept through. Last night she woke up crying and I left her and for the first time she self settled and went back to sleep. Now that she's older, I've been explaining that she can get back out of bed when the sun is shining again and giving her masses of praise when she stays in her bed until morning. She's two months shy of turning three though.
It's so hard. I haven't had anyone to help me as DH sleeps so deeply that I can wake him up, tell him to go to her and he immediately flakes again and has no recollection of me ever waking him up. He was helpful in the evenings, but those middle of the night wake ups.....oh boy. I don't know how I would have managed if I wasn't SAHM. Good luck with it, hang in there
My DD is the same. I feel bad because I feel like it's my fault too. She was pretty good at around 2 months then at 4 months it went downhill & I didn't try hard enough. Just did what was easiest. But then does "trying harder" then lead "controlled crying"? I don't want to do that so I keep going. DD spends half the night in my bed.
Having said that, my DS was the same as well and he now sleeps through from 8pm to 6am (ish) every night. He wakes maybe once a week if that & usually resettles after a quick cuddle or drink of water.
I keep reminding myself how much DS has improved to get through the these months with DD.
This is a post I wrote just before DS was 1. I can totally and utterly sympathise with you.
Yes we got through it. He still wakes a few times at night, but it's just for a quick (25seconds worth) of water. It take him usually no more than 3 minutes to go to sleep of an evening. I sit at the end of the bed. I did the same with him and DD, just the same as Pak. He is an independent, confident child. He'll be three next month but he's been pretty good for the last year or so.
struggling on little or interrupted sleep is horrible. but i think your DD is completely normal - well, going by what i've read on BB & my own experiences with my DS!
my DS woke overnight every 45m-2 hours until he was about 18 months. his day sleeps were completely hit & miss until he dropped to one day sleep (and i can't remember when this was - maybe between 12-18 months?). but the good news is that now he sleeps beautifully - he is 2.5 now & sleeps for about 10 hours overnight with a max of one wake up (which is just for a quick cuddle or he jumps into our bed for the rest of the night - he even brings his own pillow with him ) and has anything from 1.5-3 hours for a nap during the day.
to cope i used to sleep with DS on a mattress on the floor in his room. that way i could feed overnight without having to get up. this was from about 9 months - 20 months. after i weaned him he slept in our bed for a while & then he just decided that he'd rather sleep in his own bed. after 20 months of a feed before sleep/to sleep he just needed a cuddle, now we have some cuddles, sing a couple of songs & i give him & teddy a kiss and leave the room while he's still awake. i never thought this day would come!!
if you're looking for something to read that makes you feel like you baby is 'normal' then i'd recommend pinky mckay's book 'sleeping like a baby'. while this book doesn't offer heaps of ways to try & change the situation, it helped me to make peace with the ways things were & that i was happy to carry on in a gentle manner.
i don't think you need to worry about the lack of sleep/interrupted sleep doing your DD any harm - i worried the same but DS never seemed to suffer in meeting milestones/his development.
i know it seems like it will never end at the moment but i promise they do change - i'm still kind of surprised at how DS' sleep has changed without any real input from us. but i feel very happy that he's got to this point without us forcing anything on him.
and to you too melbournemumma, you're not a bad mum at all
Reply With Quote
) and has anything from 1.5-3 hours for a nap during the day. 
Bookmarks