My daughter was like this until she was 7months old. She was so clingy that if she was on the floor all I had to do was shift my weight in my chair and it would send her into a screaming fit cos she thought I was leaving. I used to rock her for the longest time Til she went to sleep or lay next to her in my bed and then once she was asleep I'd attempt to put her in her cot. I usually fail a couple times a night. It was really hard. I tried a couple times to put her in her bed and walk away while she cried. But I couldn't do it. Then all of a sudden one day she just went to sleep when I put her down. All I can put it down to is that she was ready to do it.
Oh Hun I can so hear your desperation and as much as I can empathize (you have described my second son right down to a T) I sadly don't have any magic cure or fantastic tip that worked for us because sadly nothing did. He just got older and finally stopped fighting it so much.
I cant even remember what age he was when this started as that period of my life is very much a sleep deprived blur and I would go so far as to say looking back now I would imagine I was quite depressed too
I dont want to make light of your situation at all but I will say that my 20minute max sleeper dragged his sorry butt out of bed at 12.15pm today
I know (believe me I know) that the light at the end of your tunnel seems non existent right now but it is there Hun and this WILL NOT last forever. Be kind to yourself in the meantime and do what you can, rely on who you need too to help you manage this
Yes. They do learn. You are teaching her right now, every time you respond to her and help her, she is learning.
Remember they go through phases, very frequent and big changes from the perspective of a little baby, where they may need your help even more. Teething, illness, developmental leaps, separation anxiety, etc, etc, for many children this leaves them needing more reassurance and help with soothing (and means they don't sleep as well).
When times are harder on you, you might find it helps to .... get help Call in reinforcements, let things go, do whatever makes things a bit easier for you right now. The bad times are not the best time to try and make changes, generally speaking.
Here's what I do: Co-sleep, all the time (I refuse to make my life harder by getting out of bed). My DH steps up on very bad nights, he takes over for an hour or 2 in the morning before he has to leave for work, and I get sleep ins on the weekend. My house is a mess. We often have baked beans or scrambled eggs for dinner.
Hang in there. In a year or two you'll be able to look back and feel really good about all this good parenting work that you're doing right now. And you'll be able to see things clearly for the benefit of perspective & being rested.
i also forgot to say that it's really, really important to try & get some time just for you. i know it's not easy but taking time to have that nap where you can, go & have a coffee & read a mag on your own, go for a walk, have a long bath - doesn't matter, just take any opportunity you can to recharge your batteries
ahh both my DD and DS were like this, thankfully DD became a good sleeper at about 18 months as for DS hes just gone 2 and we have some nights of sleeping through! Before that it was every 3-4 hrs and before that you dont wanna know lol. One thing i figured out with DS was that he liked to play or have a small grizzle for a few mins before actually going to sleep, before i realised that i rocked or fed to sleep and it took longer and longer to work and he didnt sleep aslong either. Maybe just try a few different things to keep yourself sane?
Just quickly replying, sorry haven't read the other posts, I don't have long...
YOU HAVE NOT DONE THIS! You're following your baby's needs and giving her what she needs, you're doing great
She will learn to sleep!! The book won't tell you that or you wouldn't read it and they wouldn't sell many would they The methods in there work great for some bubs, but not all.
My DS1 slept with me until he was 2 then just decided he would sleep on his own. He still came into bed with me sometimes through the night, but he just suddenly started to sleep on his own.
DS2 was a sleeper from the start, day one, put himself to sleep anywhere any time never an issue.
DS3 has only just started to sleep (almost) through the night now at 2. We removed all additives from his and my(still BF) diet and MAGIC! Sleep!! He still feeds to sleep for his day sleep and sometimes needs a BF if he wakes too soon. But through the night if he wakes, which is usually only once, maybe twice, and he'll go back to sleep himself, sometimes after a little cuddle, or he might just reach out to touch me and he's all good. We still co sleep btw, same as you it was just too much when he was waking every 2 hours at night to be getting up feeding settling then going back to bed only to be doing it all again in the blink of an eye, and all night.
I hopw you get some rest soon I know what it's like
When DS3 was younger he liked to be walked and rocked, I ended up getting a rocking chair to save my back.
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Call in reinforcements, let things go, do whatever makes things a bit easier for you right now. The bad times are not the best time to try and make changes, generally speaking. 
I know what it's like 
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