Will she think I've abandoned her?

[Snacks]

I am very excited to be starting a new job next week. I'm also going to continue with my massage course that I started before Nat was born, and next week is my first class.
The unfortunate thing is that the job is two days/week, Wed and Thurs, and first term at college my subjects are... Wed and Thurs evenings. So, I will have to go straight to my course from work. I'll see Natalie for maybe a half-hour at the most in the morning, then I won't see her for the rest of the day on those days.
DH will have her on the Wed, and either my mum or FIL on the Thurs. So there will be familiar people looking after her.
I am worried though that when I am not there at bedtime she will feel like I've left her and I'm not coming back
Is there anything I can do to make this easier on her? Or am I worrying for nothing?

[Lulu]

Nope - she may wonder where you have gone, but you come back. So no abandonment there.

It's an icky feeling - I used to hate drivng away from him...

I hope it goes well xoxoxoxo

[Phteven]

it's not going to be easy for you leaving your little girl for so long but it will be for her benefit.
Maybe you can leave her a dirty t-shirt for bedtime so she can have your smell near her.

[MrsFabuloso]

Oh hun, :hugs:!!
I know that feeling all too well. I think I fret more than she does when I'm at work. Although I am only at work 6hrs a day, gone for about 7hrs from Lily. She couldn't care less while I'm gone, but when I get home she's so excited and nearly trips over herself trying to crawl to me quicker. But I am also here to put her to bed, and noone else can do it without a big fuss being made like I can. I'm guessing it's the same for Natty?
I can understand where you're coming from, and I would be worried too. Maybe if you leave your pj top or something you've worn for her to sleep with so it smells like you, or try giving her a snuggly toy or blankie to sleep with and get attached to, so even if you're not there to put her to bed, she has her toy or blankie? She will get used to it, it's amazing how quickly they understand the time you're not there, even if they don't understand the concept of days.
Good luck, you'll both be fine I'm sure.

[shellbell3]

It can be quite upsetting for you leaving them. I work 2 days a week and one day she is with Df the other day with the IL's and I do afternoon shifts so I do get the morning with her but I'm still at work whe she goes to bed.

First day i went I cried when I got to work, felt so guilty liked I'd abandoned her and when i got home crept into her room and watch ehr sleep (still do after work). But the fact was she had a great time without me, yes she did look around for me after i'd left but wasn't upset and had a ball.
On the odd occasion she does get upset when I say good-bye so I usually make it quick good-bye and not hang around and usually IL's are doing something fun with her anyway so she is busy running around.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

DS adores his dad - when he sees Daddy he runs to him calling "Dadadadadaaaaad!" He insists on Daddy hugs in the morning if he's up before DH leaves. But once DH has gone, he couldn't care less. Sorry if that sounds callous! Same with me, if I go and Daddy is around he's not bothered. It's great that your baby is so content to have someone else around instead of you. DS is only just now OK with Daddy and we're having to work at him being OK with PiL.

[Snacks]

Thank you all for the reassurance. It is a weird feeling as I'm so thrilled at finally going back to work, and yet so sad that I'll be missing my baby
She cuddles her wrap to go to sleep, so that's something that will still be there for her. Thanks for the ideas of my clothes to keep with her... I'll give it a go for sure.
Last night I asked DH to help her go to sleep and though it took longer than when I do it, she still got there without *too* much fuss. So I'm feeling a little better about it now, knowing that he'll be here with her at bedtime for both nights.
Thanks again, girls.

[fionas]

I've been reading this with interest too. I'm going on a Girls Weekend Away in two weeks time and leaving DD with my DP. He is fine about this but of course I'm a bit nervous. Actually when I say "away" we're doing this in Melbourne (our home town) because we've also got two pregnant ladies coming too so I'll be a 45min tram ride from home in case of dramas. Actually, I can imagine sneaking home before breakfast to have morning hugs with Kittykat and sneaking back before the girls notice!

Really, we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. We don't want our babies to be upset that we're not there ... but maybe just a LITTLE bit upset that we've gone IYKWIM.

[Evie76]

I understand that feeling very well. I'm back at work 5 days a week now (FT) so I had real issues with leaving Daniel. He is in a CC centre that is just great. I often sneak in and watch him do his thing and interact with the other kids. You can just see he loves it there.

Daniel knows that when I walk away in the morning that I'll definitely be back. He does have a sook some mornings as I leave, but his carers are so familiar to him that he isn't worried. He's just stoked when he sees me again.

It's a genuine "motherly" concern, but when I see Daniel enjoying himself so much my concerns melt away. If your DD is staying with very familiar people, including your DH, there isn't anything to worry about. She won't harbour any ill feelings towards you - are kids really even able to harbour ill feelings?

[~Kim~]

Amy make sure you tell her every day that you'll see her tonight/in the morning/whatever. It builds trust that you will appear when you say you will.
I tell Darcy that everymorning and she says "See you later mum". If I don't she gets rather upset.

[Snacks]

Thanks ladies.
Kim, that makes sense to me. I will make sure I tell her I will see her in the morning.