thanks everyone. i'm feeling very warm & fuzzy now after reading all your responses

olive - i've had a look at dr jay gordon's stuff & i really like the sound of it. i was planning to give his night weaning a go after DS turns 1. i love his attitude of ' pay the baby' .

re-the NCSS, i think that's the approach i'm going for. i have temporarily misplaced my copy but i'm going to have a look around for it & try & follow it.

marcellus - thank you! i have never had any indication from DS that he would self-settle (or sleep for more than 2 hours at any time of day ) but this morning i stopped patting the mattress when he looked close to sleep & instead of doing his usual - eyes snap wide open, ready to get up again, he drifted off. so that gave me the idea that maybe i could gently coax him along a bit. he just did it again. small steps!!

Nicole S - i found DS was starting to get a bit hit & miss with whether he'd actually feed to sleep so i've tried to stop it (unless he's really tired) in the last week or two. i think it helps that my DS sleeps on a king single mattress on the floor of his room - it means i can lie next to him & give him a cuddle. he just gets so worked up if he goes in the cot.

okay, i didn't mean to post that much! sorry!