Won't settle for DH... suddenly

[MamaPan]

Hi All
DS is 17 mnths. DH and I have always parented close to equally - ie DH is very hands on. Since I stopped bf at 11 months we have shared putting DS down to sleep equally and settling etc equally. in the last few weeks DS has become super clingy to me, especially at night if he wakes. DH is able to put him down to sleep but not to settle him if he wakes at night. when he wakes up he cries and yells out for Mama. If DH goes into him he goes quite hysterical and yells out more for me. last night he even sais no no no... this is upsetting for DH of course and also for DS and me. When i eventually come into the room he reaches out for me and will stop crying as soon as i hold him.
Anyone else had this or know what causes it? and is there anything we can do about it?

[Kristin27]

Sorry I haven't been through this before, my only thought is perhaps he is sensing a change with your next bub on the way? He knows having a little brother or sister might mean less time for him so he's getting clingy?? Dunno that's just an idea....

[AnyDream]

Aw hun, I don't have any suggestions, just want to give you a big cos i know how stressful this must be for all of you. One thing I'm sure of though - N is a very well-loved and fabulously-parented lil boy and I'm sure this will be a passing phase.

[Liz]

I think its quite natural for a small child to 'favour' mum, no matter how equally you parent. I don't really believe you can parent equally, as each parent plays a different role, and the child has his/her own different feelings about each parent, but that could be just me. Sure for every nappy I change, DH could change one too, but we both have different relationships with the children. Mothers naturally play the more comforting role. They hold the child differently and speak differently.

Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph (spelling! it's off the top of my head) is a good read and explains the stages that boys go through, and their relationship with each parent and how it changes.

I wouldn't worry, it's more than likely a phase, and things will be different again before you know it. Babies & children don't understand that we like the status quo, they just keep on changing!