Yes, I *used* to be one of those mothers... (temper tantrums)

**Epacris** · October 7th, 2009, 01:05 PM

Temper tantrums.... Yeah, yeah, yeah.... I used to be one of those mothers that would painfully say to all and sundry:

"Oh, my DS doesn't throw temper tantrums."

Then I used to say...

"Oh, he only throws temper tantrums when he's tired."

Then...

"It's only when he tired, hungry or bored."

OK, so now he just chucks them all the time for absolutely NO REASON!!! Sorry, there are reasons. Here they are:

- He wanted to open the door. I close the door again, not good enough. I need to turn back time to before I opened it.
- The newspaper was on the radio. WTF!
- I was singing (Ok so he's always disliked my singing

too bad so sad).
- I broke his weetbix????
- His sister looked at his bike!
- etc, etc, etc

Argh..... OK, I feel much better now that I've confessed

**AnyDream** · October 7th, 2009, 01:09 PM

Oh I am laughing so hard there are tears! I *especially* relate to the one about needing to turn back time!

**~Raven~** · October 7th, 2009, 01:11 PM

I thought it was only my child who had a tanty because I dare break up his weebix!

**kawazuki** · October 7th, 2009, 01:40 PM

I thought it was only my child who had a tanty because I dare break up his weebix!

+1
or i put the milk and water on in teh wrong order lol

or i gave her the pink pencil instead of teh blue one.

or i didnt shut the door correctly lol

or cut her toast into squares like she has wanted all week, not triangles like she wants today lol

**thepixie** · October 7th, 2009, 01:12 PM

Oh Rach I had to laugh!

- He wanted to open the door. I close the door again, not good enough. I need to turn back time to before I opened it.

especially at that.
You poor thing, I hope it's a short phase for him!

**Gigi** · October 7th, 2009, 01:25 PM

oh hon, i sure do relate to your description.

EVERYTHING seems to be a battle right now. The rare time i ask bilby to do something and she responds with "aw-wite" - and toddles off to do it - I JUST ABOUT KISS THE FLOOR!

getting dressed is SUCH a battle
getting her to do ANYTHING most of the time is SUCH a battle

it wears me out, the constant supervision, repeated asking, repeated giving clear directions without sounding cross (that takes ALOT of energy!!)

and i've only got ONE child to worry about

it must be so much harder, doing it (wrangling the tantrumming toddler) when you have a nb to care for simultaneously.

so honey, i am amazed you still have the humour to put this down in a post so eloquently

Terrible Twos springs to mind!!!

hard not to react when tantrums happen

i did the Incredible YEars (parenting a toddler) course earlier this year.

one response is IGNORING. really hard to do (for the parent). That technique was the hardest one for me to
- grasp
- put into practice
doesn't work in ALL situations, but now it'sanother "tool in the toolbox" to try.

like we're out at gymbaroo, teacher asks the toddlers to come to the mats, bilby won't stop playing on the equipment. i ignore her, go to mats, and start helping other kids. Eventually, she "gets it", everyone is having fun at mat time except her, her mummy is giving postivie attention to other toddlers, so she comes over and WANTS to join in.
It was very exciting for me, the FIRST time i tried out this IGNORING method, trusted it would work, gave it a few minutes and it DID work. i thought every other adult in the place would give me dark looks and disapprove (that had been why i was scared to use it) but instead they looked at me knowingly, and smiled at me, when bilby came over and joined in. So other parents must use it too.

my other fear was that me IGNORING the behaviour, might ESCALATE the behaviour.

but i emphasise, it's only ONE thing to try.

other methods are INVOLVING child in household chores, i had a hard time with this one too, i had to get my head around "how do i involve her in cooking, that will still be safe for her?"

the basic tenet of the Incredible Years, is to give the child positive attention each day, a concerted effort, like 10 mins playing with them, so that they will remember and enjoy the positive attention, therefore wanting THAT, more than negative attention.

i still struggle every day, with what to do, but what can you do, but try your best. Talk to other parents, to keep a "supply" of stuff to try, in your "toolbox". and hope to hell you can remember some of it, when it's needed!! (that's the bit i struggle with the most, when i'm stressed, i go blank).

i sympathise with the tantrums thing bigtime. you are not alone honey.

**Arimeh** · October 7th, 2009, 01:27 PM

Bwahahahaha... ahhhhh thats soooo much like Aricyn!!! ROFL...

Ahhh yes.. good times, good times.

**Epacris** · October 7th, 2009, 01:21 PM

Oh I am laughing so hard there are tears! I *especially* relate to the one about needing to turn back time!

You should see him GO. OFF. When I then break into song with Cher's "If I could turn back time"

You'd think I'd breached two UN conventions - one on the rights of the child AND the one on torture or something

**~Kim~** · October 7th, 2009, 01:29 PM

You'd think I'd breached two UN conventions - one on the rights of the child AND the one on torture or something

lol and they train people to be UN negotiators....they should just ask the mothers of toddlers...

Glad I'm not the only one who breaks out in song.

**rufalina** · October 7th, 2009, 01:31 PM

I can see him... NO harry MINE... He is darn cute with that bike... although I bet you dont think so sometimes!!

**Bathsheba** · October 7th, 2009, 01:36 PM

good on you for confessing! I used to be the same.
Now with my third child I hope that I have no one under any illusions that my kids are angels all the time! They are NOT!
My 5yo DS still throws wobblies if my 14yo DD looks at him when he eats. And SHE throws wobblies and threatens to leave the table if she HEARS him eat!

My 3yo sits between them stirring them BOTH up too!

**suse** · October 7th, 2009, 03:49 PM

Glad I'm not the only one who breaks out in song.

Ours is 'it's the end of the world and we know it' whenever E goes into unexplainable tanty mode. At least we think it's funny.

**misty** · October 7th, 2009, 01:34 PM

Love knowing it's not just my kids.

My DD likes all her food served 'seperate' on her plate. Doesn't matter if we are having burrito's, taco's, spag bol, if any of the ingredients touches another it is the end of the world.

And then of course there are the times she just goes off for no apparent reason and when I finally get her calm enough to talk and ask her what is wrong all she says is "I don't know".

grrr not looking forward to the teenage years.

**AnyDream** · October 7th, 2009, 01:43 PM

You should see him GO. OFF. When I then break into song with Cher's "If I could turn back time" You'd think I'd breached two UN conventions - one on the rights of the child AND the one on torture or something

**minimatron** · October 7th, 2009, 02:12 PM

Its so reassuring that the past 3 weeks of absolute hell with my 2.5 year old is nothing unusual and I am not really going insane....thank you!!!

Oh and she cracks it if you open her banana!

**CrazyLady** · October 7th, 2009, 01:35 PM

Oh I am laughing so hard there are tears! I *especially* relate to the one about needing to turn back time!

I am giggling so hard! i can relate to the broken weetbix one. they go too sloppy

**danniellabella** · October 7th, 2009, 02:16 PM

I'm one of those too. DD has started throwing tantrums for seemingly no reason at all. Often she gets annoyed because one of her toys doesn't do what she wants it to do or she gets sick of playing with it so she'll throw it and then hit it and then throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming. We usually ignore her when there's no reason for it. She very quickly stops because she's not being taken any notice of. (sometimes she'll stop and get our attention so she can throw a tantrum again).

kirsty_lee · October 7th, 2009, 02:59 PM

Everything here is TOTALLY Ava! Pmsl. Today there were many but a couple stick out in my mind where I actually stood there look at her thinking "is she for real"..

- I didn't push play on Dora fast enough that was one of them
- I gave her strawberries.. she apparently doesn't like strawberries even though yesterday she ate a whole punnet?