DS didn't do this to me much. Because I made sure I looked after myself! If he asked for something, he had to say "please". If he didn't, I didn't bother shifting and he didn't want it too much. If he did but changed his mind, that was the drink he asked for (for example) and it is there when he does want it.

I wouldn't be helping with toys again unless DS apologised for snatching a toy back and asked for "help please".

If he hurts me, I walk away and go somewhere DS can't follow. I don't play again until he apologises.

When he calms down, I do tell him why I behave this way. I tell him why his behaviour is unacceptable. If he has a tantrum because I won't put up with him hurting me or being rude to me, then tough. He can get me back with an apology.

It's a bit of attention seekeing, a bit of assertiveness and a bit of learning about the world. If DS wants attention, he now asks me to play with him. When we're playing he can tell me what role I'm playing. He reminds me of things, like how to cross the road. That's good assertiveness and I'm working on how to be assertive without being rude now. He learnt that Mama has firm boundaries and is a person who is worthy of consideration. He asks me how he can help me now.

This does make me sound a bit mean, but I am parenting the man I want DS to be as well as the toddler he is. And I want him to be decisive, so this at least makes him aware of decisions, consequences of decisions and how to stop changing his mind.