Your best piece of advice - going from 1 child to 2
We are due to have our second baby in July and I have been thinking alot about how different life is going to be with two littlies rather than just one. Having one child is a big adjustment and learning curve to anyones life but I wonder how much has to change when the second comes along. What ways did you adjust things to make it all work or does it just work out somehow eventually.
I guess I am just interested to hear your best piece of advice about going from one child to two or the best piece of advice you were given by someone about going from one child to two.
What works for you and what special tips etc do you have.
I know that everyone is different and you handle what ever is thrown your way but cant hurt to hear other peoples experiences.
involve the first child in things even if its just passing the nappy wipes at change time thats the only thing i can offer really DD1 was absolutely fabulous when DD2 came along and i just involved her in everything and she never got jealous or anything
Make sure you make special time for the first child. You do seem to get lost in the everyday baby things some times. At first it is difficult but once baby gets bigger they play together more.
Don't think that once the first child adjusts to the second that the "adjustment process" is over. Firstborns will adapt to a loud but non-moving thing that keeps mum away, then as the baby grows into a moving toy-grabber they will have to adapt again. Its normal for a previously loving child to have "issues".
The best advice I was given - to keep to your first child's routine - and fit the new baby into it.
The older child will adjust much better if everything is just as it used to be - just with a little baby added to the mix
HTH
I agree with the advice to make time for your first kid. I was struggling with really negative behaviour from my DD1. She was cross, she only seemed to want to have anything to do with me when I was busy with DD2. But now, when DD2 goes down for a sleep, I make sure I do something with DD1, even if she seems happy for me not to. I find her behaviour is sooooooo much nicer when she's received some special attention.
Going from 1 to 2 can be difficult, but once things settle down it is very rewarding (most of the time ).
The very best advice I can give you is accept all offers of help. This really is important when you have two little ones. No-one will offer if they don't mean it, and this is a situation where it is absolutely ok to say yes.
I also strongly, strongly recommend that you get a sling if you don't already have one. It is a life saver to be able to wear your baby around the house while you do things with the older child, and get other things done. It is is also much easier to get out and about then taking a pram (or a double pram if your older child is in a pram). Slings are very helpful for all babies, but they are a must for subsequent babies.
I think making time for your first child is important too - and also explaining to them a lot about what is going to happen when the baby arrives. DS1 was 19 months when DS2 was born, and we were really surprised by how much he understood. We didn't realise until the baby arrived that DS1 knew what was going on and what to expect. However we made the mistake of not explaining about me being in hospital for a few nights (I ended up having to stay 5 nights as DS2 was born early) and this was the only thing that upset DS1.
I would also add that the older child cottons on very quickly that mum can't get up easily while feeding, so they tend to do most of their misbehaving at this time. Having snacks and special activities ready for the older child at these times can work very well.
Yep definitely keep giving No. 1 lots of attention and when the new bub is down for naps of which there are lots in the early days (hopefully ) - I know you would rather rest or 'get things done' but spend time with your No. 1, even for 20 mins/1/2 an hour just to make No. 1 still feel loved and important. I found going from 1 to 2 really hard and so did my then 2 year old, and in the early days you definitely feel like you are being stretched in all directions. As someone said, try and have snacks/puzzles/books lined up for when you are feeding. I don't know if you have close family/friends around but if they can come round and also spend time with No. 1 to give you a bit of a break and let No. 1 know they are still very important. it does get easier and then they start interacting at it is really cute, and then they start fighting over toys.....
I found that just as difficult I found it adjusting to one (yes, yes I know - one is a walk in the park in hindsight!) - that I adjusted to two in the same manner (and thats 2 under 2 as well), IYKWIM.
Totally agree with Manta Ray re - the elder will always misbehave while your feeding #2 , but having something for the elder child to do in that time will save you from losing your sanity in those first few trying weeks.
I used the word 'gentle' with DD alot before DS was born, so if she would be getting rough in her play or whatever I'd always use the word 'gentle' - so she would recognise it when DS was born - when she came up for her first cuddle with DS she went to almost dive into him, and I said uh ah - gentle huni, and she was gentle with him straight away. Worked a treat for me.
Registered User
Your best piece of advice - going from 1 child to 2
).
, but having something for the elder child to do in that time will save you from losing your sanity in those first few trying weeks.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks