Your home days, rhythms and routines......

[Indi]

Have to be honest at our current stage we just move through each day. Bedtimes vary as do sleep times and we try to face each challenge as it comes. If boredom creeps up with go out to play, draw, make cubbies or cook. Some day are just busy with shopping if visits. Things like meals are more routine as we just seem to have fallen into place with them. As DS 1 has gotten older we have noticed that more structure just seems to happen in our day.

[fionas]

If I had the sort of 3-year-old who would happily play with her dolls, do crafts, sit down and look at a book, go outside and play on her swings/slides or help me (in a kiddy way) with housework or just SLOW DOWN for two minutes, I'd be home more often. But DD1 won't do any of those things unless I do them with her and I simply can't play with her ALL DAY because I need to get other stuff done. The only way I can get stuff done is to put on the TV and I hate doing it.

So we go out. Often it's a trip to the playground or we go to the library, do grocery shopping or have a babycinno. If it's just me and DD1 we often walk into town, which is a 3km round trip as I see that as good exercise for her. The only set activity we have is on Fridays when she does swimming. Though I'll probably try to make story time at the library on Wednesdays a regular thing too. I prefer to go out mid-late morning and come back mid-late afternoon.

Basically, if we've been out, I feel less guilty about switching the TV on when I get home so I can get some housework done or dinner started.

[belfie]

Really good question Tan. I've been thinking about this too recently, as improving Annika's sleep came at the cost of spending a lot more time at home. I look at what he does at his FDC days, and I feel he could benefit from more of a sense of structure & routine on our home days. It's late & I'm stuffed, but I'll post this to remind me to come back to it!

[wysiwyg]

How often do we have a full day at home? Never.

Some points in the article I agree with, I am not one for lots of scheduled activities but I am not a believer in staying at home either.

This point is probably true

"but I often wonder if the children are just reflecting the discontent their mothers feel"

Children do reflect their parents feelings, and are also quite likely to be like there parents, and if you are the sort of person who gets cabin fever from staying in all day, then to me it follows that your child might be too (far better to embrace it than try and fight your natural instinct). When we go out it isn't to the shops (I hate shopping) and I don't feel the need to necessarily meet up with other people - I just like to get out. Living in a flat with no garden also means I think it is necessary for DD that we do, to the park, to the library, into the city but we do it all slowly - we go on public transport so the time spent getting there can be taken up with games and songs etc, often we just wander about with no specific purpose and DD finds ways to entertain herself and discover the world (e.g. Friday we were in the city on Southbank was a lovely day, she just wanders along climbs steps, goes round and round and round bicycle racks till she gets dizzy etc).

I am also though not a believer in routine, because I am not a routine person, and I also believe that it is important to be able to cope with change and I am not convinced that too much structure is a great thing (is the over emphasis on routine with children creating adults that are less adaptable to change?) - again though for some children routine will be necessary for both them and their parents, and also in the adult population there is the need for very routine people as well as people who most comfortable with a dynamic environment, but I think children are more adaptable to change than often given credit for. We haven't needed a routine with DD so that has given a lot of flexibility in terms of if we are out and about we don't need to rush around. Who knows what DS will be like - might require a totally different approach but unless things are not working I intend to try and do the same.

[KatieRabbit]

Full days at home- 3 between Mon and Fri
Other two- playgroup and kindygym in the mornings.
I love rhythm and routine and our days go really well. We have a weekly timetable yet I am a fulltime SAHM and I really recognize the need for children to be grounded in the home and see the value of it. Therefore I spend time and energy making and keeping our home beautiful and a joyful place to be in. I think that a solid homelife sets the child for life and provides much connection with parents and siblings.
I have to say I am NEVER bored at home due to the rhythm of the day (so I am never lost for what to do) and I have many of my own interests based in the home (crafts, sewing, felting, reading, gardening, cooking etc) I spend lots of time with my hobbies at home and my chn (1.5 and 3.5) happily play (mostly) either with me while I do my stuff or alongside me doing their own thing.
This hasn’t happened overnight nor are my children different to anyone elses but having a structure to our day has helped make this happen. My children do their work (play) while I do mine (look after the children, house and my own interests).

Our day goes like this:
7am
Waking
Breakfast
Dressing
Dishes and kitchen
Beds

10.30am
Morning tea
Outside time
***Housework

12.30am
Lunch
Quiet/rest time
***Activity

3pm
Afternoon tea
Outside time

5.30pm
Bath
Dinner
Play/stories and milk
Bed

***alternates each day of the week. ie Housework involves either washing, toy sort out/clean up, outside sweeping/tidying, ironing and vacuum and mopping (one only a day). The activities are (one a day) reading/puzzles, craft, painting and baking.
While the chn are resting and outside I do my own thing- scrapbooking, reading, on the computer, the phone etc so I really feel like I have a life besides doing housework and I never feel stuck at home. Our structure is also flexible to allow friends visits, shopping, library etc

[Yeddi]

I have to agree with this:

It is ironic in an age of more and more information, ideas via the Internet and books that mothers feel LESS confident and not more confident, isn’t it?

We also do Waldolf homeschooling part-time. My DD attends school for two hours a day and we make this fit in with our daily rhythm. As I said in the Steiner school thread, Waldolf is ALL about rhythm and there is something really beautiful about finding your rhythm. In this day and age, however, it's not always easy, but well worth the pay off.

A big part of rhythm is what is called "circle time". In essence this could be called a focussed activity, where you put time aside to spend with your children and aren't worrying about what chores you need to do, or where you have to go, and aren't doing things where you expect them to join you. We have found that if we do circle time first thing after breakfast, then I don't have to spend my day entertaining my children because I've filled their little emotional tanks by giving them my one-on-one focused and undivided attention. Afterwards I go and do my chores and they join me for a time and then spend the rest in free play. My older one has chores she can do by herself - like feeding the chickens and collecting the eggs, and DS follows me around watching - he particularly likes sitting in the laundry basket while I hang the washing.

If you want to follow a more Waldolf lifestyle, you can certainly add going out to your daily rhythm, but you would have to make sure you had time in your day where you spend time with your children rather than having them spend it with you ITMS.

[Beach Mama]

Thanks KatieRabbit and Yeddi - I guess that is where I want to be headed. I want to have more of a routine on the rare days I am home with them and a circle time/activity scheduled in sounds great. I often do things around the kids and they do things around me while I am doing housework and I am lucky that they are independent and love to play with each other but I need to spend more time sitting with them while we do things together I think.

[wysiwyg]

If you want to follow a more Waldolf lifestyle, you can certainly add going out to your daily rhythm, but you would have to make sure you had time in your day where you spend time with your children rather than having them spend it with you ITMS.

I think you highlight the point Yeddi better than the main article - is about spending time with your children doing something they want to do, and this can be inside or outside of the home.

[Heaven]

Just reading this thread again. I think I need more of a routine at home. We have the same times for meals and sleeps every day but I think I need more routine for what we do in between otherwise it's hard for me to stay motivated! But we do spend the majority of our days at home. We only go to swimming once a week and ABA and then occasionally I'll meet up with a friend for a play if they have kids or just morning tea or something if they don't. I am a big believer in not having lots of scheduled activities for kids outside the home. I think DD can learn a lot more from free play outside. I think she's really benefited from being home a lot so far in that she's never bored, she's awesome at entertaining herself and has a fabulous imagination.