Pink

i have a 2.5yo and what we do is (after months of bedtime being a nightmare), now when all the bedtime rituals are over, if she hasn't fallen asleep by then, bilby is told

you have a choice

lamp on and you read books in bed, under the quilt
or
if you come out, back to bed with no lamp on
which one do you want?

she chooses lamp on, and to read until she falls asleep.

bilby is not very verbal at all, but she seems to understand the two options. (she mimes most of her communication, so well, that she gets her point across very well, most of the time).

She wakes up around midnight - 2am, and walks to my room, climbs into bed for a feed.

It must be an entirely new dynamic, when you have two close together. So i have only my own experience to share (solo child).