I'd suggest getting a sling or carrier. If that's what he needs, then the best thing is to hold him, but a carrier will mean your hands are still free. They go through these phases, it's no unusual at all and it will pass.
You may well find that if you meet his need to be held, he'll sleep better, and the clinginess will also improve, and the sleeping will improve more, and so on.
It's quite normal also for them to get unsettled around the 3-4 month mark as their little brains have a big developmental leap about this time. It's liable to leave some babies needing more reassurance.
Don't buy into the making a rod for your own back thinking. You wont damage him by cuddling him lots. Promise!
I feed/fed and rocked both my girls. The eldest is almost 3, but has put herself to sleep from about the age of 18 months. My 16 month old sometimes goes to sleep on her own, sometimes i feed her and sometimes a cuddle her to sleep.
I found the 3 month mark was when my babies started becoming much more aware and things became more challenging. A sling saved me a thousand times over. Sleep around here goes in cycles, it's great then we have a few hiccups for a while and goes back to being great. This phase wont last forever.
Have you read The Wonder Weeks or What Every Parent Needs To Know, i found both of these a great resource.
Thanks so much for your advice and reassurance. After a big hoo-ha getting DS to bed that resulted in me (and him) in tears and DH putting him down in 2 minutes flat (he never has any trouble!) he slept beautifully. We're now playing the 'grizzle, take dummy, pat/shhh, quieten for 2 minutes then repeat' game, but that's a huge improvement in that he's actually in his cot and there's been no crying or tears!
Marcellus/Junglemum - I have a sling, but as I said, he doesn't like it at all. He will occasionally sit up in it for about 5 mins or so. He will also sit in his bouncer for a little while. He has a definite preference for sitting up.
The rational, non-anxious part of my brain knows I won't spoil him by cuddling, and that this is just a phase, and that I have the most amazing, beautiful little boy on earth, but that doesn't stop the other part from taking over and freaking out sometimes! One day at a time...
It is so very hard isn't it we went through this about the same age, it all got better, and are now going through it again! It's funny, I always thought night sleeping would be the issue but it's always day sleeps that drive us round the bend. I feel like I recommend this book alot, but have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? It has great suggestions on different methods to try, but it doesn't give you an overnight answer, more like a framework of solutions that you can choose to apply to your own family/situation.
I don't have any real other advice in the sense that I am having major day sleep problems at the moment with DD, but I do keep telling myself that it's just a stage she's going through and it will improve. She had a pretty big developmental leap around 12wks that I feel threw her out for about a week, with really similar behaviours to your DS. I think/hope we're mid another leap now and it will all calm down soon.
I know what you mean about feeling anxious when nap time approaches, I have been feeling the very same way. Sorry I couldn't be of more help
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we went through this about the same age, it all got better, and are now going through it again! It's funny, I always thought night sleeping would be the issue but it's always day sleeps that drive us round the bend. I feel like I recommend this book alot, but have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? It has great suggestions on different methods to try, but it doesn't give you an overnight answer, more like a framework of solutions that you can choose to apply to your own family/situation.
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