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Thread: does he want a different mum ???

  1. #1

    Default does he want a different mum ???

    im not sure if this is nixons issue or mine or both ... but he never wants mum (me) always wants to go to other mums in mums group and makes a bee line for daddy when we pick him up from the gym creche .. it makes me feel like crap , like he doesnt love me ...

    it could just be me getting all worked up about getting pushed away by him and i feel like im missing out on him ... i want cuddles but i get none .. i love him sooooo much but is it enough ... do other mums have something i dont ...

    all my frined say .. oh its just a phase or he knows about the baby and is jealous ... i am so confused over this and is causing me lots of anxiety ...

    he wriggles and whinges when im holding him and holds out his arms if another person that he knows is near by ... but i want the cuddles that my friends get ...

    so is it a phase ??? he is 16mths ...

    i am over trying to crack jokes to cover up my sadness about this ...


  2. #2

    Default

    I think this shows what a wonderful job you're doing. He's so secure in the knowledge that you love him that he knows that he can go to other people without fear of losing you.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    USA
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    Default

    I agree with Dach. I always say it's the highest compliment of the strength of someone's trust in your love when they can neglect you.

  4. #4

    Default

    I'd say it's definitely a phase. Nina was like this a few months ago, it was all about daddy. Now though, it's all about mummy. He's at home with you a lot more than what daddy, or other people are. I know it hurts when the reject you for a cuddle, but try to not to worry about it. Give it time, and he'll come running back to you, and you'll be desperate for a little space from him!

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Sydney NSW
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    4,843

    Default

    You always treat the ones you love most the worst they say. Its probably because he is so secure in your love that he knows no matter what happens you are there for him and will love him so he doesn't need to cling to you.
    BTW no matter how reassuring we all are i kow how much it must hurt you.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    812

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    hun i'm sure he loves you more than you know! My DD1 is the same even when we go to toddler bop she wont dance with me she'll go with another mum the instructor anyone but me! She is a daddy's girl over and over if there's some one else around she doesnt want a bar of me but hey i'm with her 90% of the time so i just remind myself of that and think well at least she isnt the opposite and overly clingy iykwim. Maybe it is a jealousy thing with your body changing etc but never doubt that he doesnt love you. Sometimes when DD2 is having a bad day i am thankful that she will go to anyone so i'm not torn in two so i guess it has its pros!

  7. #7
    Peach Guest

    Default

    I can only imagine how you must be feeling ..

    Can you make time to do something *special* with him every so often .. like maybe reading a new special story or perhaps baking a cake! Something that might interest him and then give you some special time together?? Just a suggestion .. I agree with the other comments that he is absolutley so secure in your love for him that he dosent hang at your skirt.
    Good luck with him passing through this phase with swiftness ..

  8. #8
    paradise lost Guest

    Default

    I agree with Dach. My DD is just this way. I get rare cuddles, XP gets masses, even DP (who she knows is NOT her daddy and only sees her once a week!) gets copious loving snuggles, she climbs on all the other mums at toddler group and sits on the leader at singing group.

    I always thought that it meant she trusted me the best...? That's how i see it. She loves and trusts me so much that after only about 18months she could take me for granted. She now seems to be getting more aware of my feelings as not being an extension of her feelings i am getting more hugs so i reckon it was a bit of a phase too, you know? Another thing i notice is that if i don't hug her or try to hug her all day, she DOES come looking eventually, it just takes longer because she always has a full-tank of mummy loves because i hug and kiss her all the time.

    Don't worry about it, it sounds like you have a happy confident little boy who knows his mummy loves him VERY much.

    Bx

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