Ds has always been fed to sleep for naps and nighttime by the boob. I'm starting back at work next Monday and DH is taking over as SAHD, so starting yesterday he's been trying to take over naptime with a bottle of ebm and it is a lot more difficult than we imagined it was going to be. He just screams and screams (ds not DH), won't lie down or be cuddled or go to sleep, and so I've ended up having to go in and lie down with him like normal. Has anyone had to do this? How did you do it?
On the days i have not been home (I work occasionally at weekends) we found the trick was for Dad NOT to try and make it similar to what i did. It sounds hard but he had to find his own method. For my DH it was out for a walk with DD in the carrier or pram, or going for a drive. They wont find their grove day 1, but they will find it.
I agree with Ambersky. They need to find their own way. It might also help if you go out and bub knows you are gone. I think DH finds it easier to get DD to nap than I do but only when I'm not there. If I'm there & she knows it, she will fight him.
i also agree - i feed my DS in our bedroom lights off tv on silent and he just relaxes and feeds and gets very sleepy. This did not work AT ALL for my hubby and DS was screaming the whole time the first night. In the end my husband now feeds him out on the couch, tv on footy going with volume and dogs playing around him. He will now happily take bedtime bottle from daddy and then go off to sleep no problems.
I think he associated Bedroom feeds with mummy and when i wasnt doing it it just didnt feel right to him. Again he also only does night time feeds when i am not there. He doesnt like the bottle if i am around.
Thanks for the suggestions, gives us something to work with! I was starting to stress thinking that Monday is going to be horrible for them both, but hopefully not now! Thanks
it's definitely heaps different when Mum isn't there! I had (still have) the same issues with DD - if i'm there, no way in hell will she go to sleep for Daddy. Mum's there, boob is there - are you kidding?? but as soon as i'm not there, she settles fine for DH - and always has. But he has his own thing. I take her to bed, we snuggle with boob and go off to sleep. Daddy sits around watching TV, snuggles her in his arms and she crashes.
it works for them, works for me - and i'm sure your DH and DS will find something that works for them. it may take a couple of days, but it will work. it's awesome how quickly my DH adapted to being the SAHD so hopefully it works for you guys too!
i agree with pps - dont try and make it the same & it's definitely better when you're not there. my ds will be 3 this weekend & still wont nap for someone else if im in the house but if im not there he's fine. at first it used to be that ds would fall asleep on dp while listening to music on the pc or while watching a movie (i think they both slept then ) but now dp can pretty much do the same as i would because now i can cuddle & then leave.
i think it's good to let dads work out what works best for them too. they often like to find their own groove themselves iykwim
Yes Dh also does the Telly on low while kid plays thing. There is no way ds would go to sleep for me like that, but Dh just watches for tired signs and cuddles him while watching tv and then transfers him to bed when he's asleep (or just cuddles him which is so cute!)
Men have their own way. It's important you don't dictate too much and let him figure it out. Maybe you should go out of the house every nap time and give Dh some space to experiment. My ds always sleeps in the pram/car when tired, so if all else fails Dh goes for a walk/drive.
Thanks again! Got DH to read this thread and he's taken what he wanted from it. I fed DS about an hour ago then kissed him goodbye and slipped away into the spare bedroom. DH has him in the Manduca and has been cleaning and listening to music while wearing him. Hopefully he finds his groove
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Getting bub to nap with dad?
) but now dp can pretty much do the same as i would because now i can cuddle & then leave.
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