I agree with what others have said too about apologising and seeing us model that behaviour as well. One of my friends had this wisdom:
"How often do they get angry/chuck a tantrum and apologise? It's over immediately for them. If they could say it, they'd wonder why we beat ourselves up for so long!"

So in that vein, forgive yourself and move on.

Re the bringing kids into your bed - how I wish that worked for us! DD still goes to sleep in our bed, but DS thinks it's party time and has since he gave up the boob. He just doesn't sleep in our bed unless it's after a nightmare. Boo