I know how you feel. Tomorrow, if it comes up in a direct question: something along the lines of "for our situation, it is the best choice for us"/ If they probe further, add some details that you feel are appropriate. For example, if it comes up that you are putting their children at risk, use the words Kelly suggested - the research backs up this. I would keep my answers to a minimal response and only anwser direct questions. I would not try to educate them (IYKWIM) as that would come across as justifying yourself (which you don't have to do) and possibly even offensive (as you pointed out).
In my own experience, with my relos (our parents and siblings), when asked why we were not vaccinating: I answered matter-factly with :"I breastfeed, which provides immunological protection. They do not attend childcare, so are not in a high-risk of exposure. If they are sick (ie on the very rare occasion that they have a sniffle), we stay home. We practise good hygiene and and inturn teach they to do the same. We eat well (most of the time)." They accepted this. Over Xmas last year, our vaccinated cousin tested positive for whooping cough, their household was put on precautionary antibiotics, the course finished on xmas day. So despite our planned xmas, we delayed it til boxing day - they accepted this (even though they were annoyed), but I said that vaxed or not, we would have stayed away, as vaxed can still carry it (evidence = cousin) and we would be visiting newborns after xmas.
Good luck tomorrow...remember Confidence. You know you have made the right decision for you.
Last edited by Catherine; March 28th, 2011 at 07:05 PM.
: added some details
Without going into the nitty gritty with statistics, toxic ingredients, pharmaceutical company conflicts of interest etc, I find the best thing to say something like "I have studied vaccines extensively over the years and my husband and I firmly believe, along with many doctors and health professionals out there, that vaccines are not in the best interests for health, and that they cause more harm than good."
If they wish to know more about why you have come to that conclusion, than you can always (kindly) recommend a resource like the book listed in my sig - which contains over 1000 referenced articles. If they turn to the research they will find for themselves that it is the vaccinated that suffer far more from both minor (asthma, eczema, influenza etc) and major (seizures, autism, ADHD, SIDS) adverse health conditions - including those which they are vaccinated against, than the unvaccinated. Their fearful assumption that their child is 'at risk' from those that are unvaccinated is not only unsupported by research, but it is contrary to it. Oh, and I have learnt that people perceive 'informed decision' to be very different things. I believe that simply asking the doctor "hey doc, should I vaccinate my kids?/ what are the side effects of this vaccine?" is not sufficient to make an informed decision.
It's certainly a tough one. I am generally a non-confrontational person, and will avoid the topic altogether if I can in order to 'keep the peace', and yet I have strong views about these things which some would find very confrontational. At the end of the day, I know from previous conversations that my vaccinating friends know very little about vaccines, they have chosen to trust the health authorities and would prefer not to ask the hard questions. That's fine - their choice. I have never broached the topic with them. Although sometimes I wonder if I have an ethical duty to inform them of the issues I know their doctor won't tell them...
On the other hand, I know how much time my non-vaccinated friends have invested in researching vaccines, and their passion for health and natural medicine which I share. My non-vaccinating friends are more than three times likely to breastfeed their children (usually to 12 months and beyond), to feed their children organic, unprocessed food, and use chemical-free, eco friendly personal care products on their children. They have made it their business to know exactly what is in each vaccine and what the potential and accumulative effects of each ingredient are. I'm not saying that this sums up all vaccinating or unvaccinating parents out there -but it does accurately depict my personal experience. So it can be really horrible and disheartening when you get someone giving you dirty looks and judgement-based comments which you know are fear-driven. Lol Sometimes it's probably best to say nothing if you don't feel you can say what you wish to in a calm respectful manner, and just offer to send them some information instead. Some people will no doubt read all the information and still choose to vaccinate, and that's fine - so long as they don't judge or berate you for your decision.
Last edited by JellyBean; April 1st, 2011 at 02:15 PM.
we are partial vaxers and it has come up in our MG a couple of times where i was feeling uncomfy as they were spouting their opinions on vaccination. but i held firm and didnt get into semantics etc with them, just told them that we came up with our own vaccination schedule that included delayed vaccination and non vaccination and you know what? once it was out there they just built a bridge and got over it. we are all responsible parents and all take illness and disease seriously, so if the kids were sick they just didnt go to MG.
what i find interesting now that we are onto our second babies in the group is that the topic doesnt even come up! and some of them that have briefly mentioned it have even decided to delay etc! so people are starting to do their own research and make truly informed choices (whether for them that is vaccination or not IYKWIM).
Jellybean I looked up those links in your sig a few weeks ago actually, I was going to download the books if I could. Your post sounds exactly like I think! I could have written it myself but unlike you I am one to usually speak up and dont' mind educating people especially if I know the facts. But on this topic I am a bit of a shrinking violet I just know that others are jsut as passionate on the other side of the fence, much like what my beliefs are about life and how we got here and where we are going when we die, it doesn't fit with regular religion and it's a topic that I woudl not openly discuss with a religous person as I know it would upset them. So yeah there's such a fine line and it can be hard to talk to people about it even if I feel like they should know what vaccination is doing to their babies it's still not my place kwim
Cas hello and gosh I've been slack in our mummies thread! I remember you saying you were partial vaccinating and it's great you have been able to talk about it in your mums group. I doubt there is anyone else in our group who isn't vaccinating, I'd be surprised anyway so I'm not goin gto be the one who brings it up just to be frowned apon. I do have other friends with kids the same age who haven't vaccinated so if I get evicted from the group than I'll jsut have to hang out with the othe rnon vac'd kids lol
CheezleMonster thanks for checking in on me hon. It was a tense day for me but all ended up well. dh often comes to the group with me (the only dad that does) but he coudln't come so I was on my own. I was an hour late as DS was sleeping so I was wondering what they might be making up about me I think I put waaaaay to much thought into it HA! noone said anything about it and thanks to this thread I was all geared up with what I was going to say and now if/when it comes up I will be confident in what and how I say something.
yay! so happy that it went AOK. it's a storm in a teacup really. once you get past the 12 month vacc people just kinda forget about it all and get on with it ITMS.
Sometimes it's probably best to say nothing if you don't feel you can say what you wish to in a calm respectful manner, and just offer to send them some information instead. Some people will no doubt read all the information and still choose to vaccinate, and that's fine - so long as they don't judge or berate you for your decision.
I just know that others are jsut as passionate on the other side of the fence, much like what my beliefs are about life and how we got here and where we are going when we die, it doesn't fit with regular religion and it's a topic that I woudl not openly discuss with a religous person as I know it would upset them. So yeah there's such a fine line and it can be hard to talk to people about it even if I feel like they should know what vaccination is doing to their babies it's still not my place kwim
I think I put waaaaay to much thought into it HA! noone said anything about it and thanks to this thread I was all geared up with what I was going to say and now if/when it comes up I will be confident in what and how I say something.
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