Honestly she sounds very normal to me! My son has been through similar behaviours at different times.
I don't understand why she must have to door shut. Imagine yourself as a little girl. In a room all alone in the dark with the door shut...... of course she is going to bang on the door and cry. She is 'shut in' The night light thing - it sounds like she is already scared of the dark. And who cares if it means that she has a night light. I own a paortable battery operated disney light that we use when we stay somewhere else. owrks great, as DS can see in his room and knows where he is.
I understand that DH needs his sleep, but with some very simple things she may begin to sleep better.
I was wondering about the door being closed as well. Realised that we don't close the door for DD1, well not unless she asks for it to be. Would your DH be willing to trial a week with the door open and a night light? Hopefully your GP suggests it for you.
Anyway best of luck with your appt. Hoping her waking improves for you.
I have the gate at DD's door and we always turn a night light on for her too. We close her door when she first goes to sleep, then I open it once I go to bed. We do this mainly because we have a fairly 'loud' household lol - but once she has been asleep for 2 -3 hrs she's 'out' for the night IYKWIM.
We've never had a problem with her getting out of bed - unless its about 0730 hours lol...
One night I forgot to turn on her night light and an hour later she woke up with what sounded like a night terror (according to a book). I'll never forget to do that again!
I just wanted to support you and give you a . Sometimes I think Dads think they know better than they really do! Sometimes they just have to give in to Mums' superior intincts when it comes to babies & kids as their primary carers. Not to belittle Dads' VERY important input into raising children, but I just wish they would pick their battles. I really hope you get to try out having the door open & a night light and see how it goes.
My little girl sleeps better with a night light as well. We transferred her to her cot a few weeks ago and it was a nightmare because I didn't think about lighting. When that was fixed she slept straight through. She still sometimes wake (in the evening before her deep sleep) but goes back to sleep if her music is still on.
When she was still sharing our room, we put on the light which was very unusual for us and it took us a few nights to adjust to the light but eventually it was o.k. I think as adults we must learn to adjust to fit with the kids more.. anyway that is my 2 cents worth of input
Dr update:
My dr has refered me to a paediatrician as when he called him asking for advice the paed said that he would like us to see him.
He thinks that DD is stuck in her baby routine from waking up to have feeds.
My appointment is on nov 2nd but in the mean time I have put a night light in her room (much to DH disgust) and we open her door slightly once she has fallen asleep.
The past 2 nights of this hasn't changed her routine a bit. she still wakes.
I would like to thank you all for your wonderful sugguestions
It may take a little while for any changes to take affect. It is better to stick to something for awhile, than to chop and change a lot, as that can just make it worse. So give the night light a few weeks to see what it does. Hoping you have a good paed. Some kids though still just wake, which I know does not help the situation, other than to know that you are not alone with the waking.
Where in sw Vic are you? (that is if you do not mind me asking)
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. Sometimes I think Dads think they know better than they really do! Sometimes they just have to give in to Mums' superior intincts when it comes to babies & kids as their primary carers. Not to belittle Dads' VERY important input into raising children, but I just wish they would pick their battles. I really hope you get to try out having the door open & a night light and see how it goes. 
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