thread: Separation Issues

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Apr 2009

    Separation Issues

    I need some help. DD who is 8 months old on the 1st May has some serious separation issues. I know they do get this happening around this time but have tried to leave her with some friends on a few occassions and am always called back as she is screaming and sobbing her head off.

    I have to go back to work in June and am putting her into child care 3 days a week so am really anxious about this. Any tips on making this easier for both of us?

  2. #2
    Registered User

    May 2008

    i'm sorry i don't have any suggestions but ds is doing the same thing at the moment so i totally understand - so clingy!
    will be watching this thread closely.
    good luck!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Apr 2009

    It seems I have asked a question that either no one has experienced or got any information on?

  4. #4
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic

    Are you going to do a trial run at CC for the first few days to get her used to it? This might help.

    She may get a bit better over the next few weeks, but it's one of those things they all seem to do to some degree

  5. #5
    Registered User

    May 2008

    Maybe have a chat to the cc centre you are taking your daughter to, see if they have any suggestions. I haven't had any experience in this myself (kind of skipped the seperation anxeity... sorry ) But i have heard a few people who have experienced this go along with their child in the beginning. In your case you may want to start this a fair bit before June. Gradually nick out of the room or the centre altogether just for short amounts of time but always show your little one that you return. This may gradually build her confidence in being away from you.

    Also being in a cc centre you may find there is more to occupy your daughter than say at a friends house (nothing against leaving her with someone you know and trust) but if her little mind is busy she may not get to miss you so much.

    Like i said i have no personal experience in this but i went back to work when my DS1 was 8 months old and we managed quiet well. I found a fdc that i was happy and comfortable to leave my son at and we never had any tears when saying goodbye. Every morning we arrive she has a wide range of things set out for the kids so their first thoughts are WOW... not worrying about mum leaving them. Knowing your child is happy makes things a WHOLE lot easier. Good luck

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    Nth West Melbourne

    Just wanted to sympathise and offer my experience. My DS is extraordinarily clingy at the moment- we can't walk out of the room without him screaming. Its exhausting!

    He is in FDC one day a week. He only started about 5 weeks ago, so its still new. The first time I spent a lot of time there with him. Then I just gradually started leaving him for longer and longer. He still is upset when I leave, but then is happy enough. Actually, my FDC lady says that while he's there, he's very clingy with HER- won't let her leave his sight etc, like he does with us. So obviously he's comfortable with her! I guess what I am saying from that is it is possible for your LO to be happy in daycare, as long as you introduce them nice and slow and they bond with someone.

    I wish you the very best of luck. I know how absolutely heartbreaking it is to hear your LO is upset, and how exhausting it is too- I feel, particularly at the moment- that DH and I just CAN'T go out on a date night or anything because DS just isn't happy with any sitter. Sigh!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Where Chaos is fun and plentiful!!!!


    My 8 and a bit month old is very much a mummy's boy. Most days i can leave him alone say in his cot or playpen etc and if he is happy to play he is happy, but if he isnt, then there is hell to pay. Dh recently started working nights so i have been having major dramas at dinner time, our house is not open plan, and DS is a very good climber, so i have to either put him in the cot, or the playpen in the lounge(where he cant see me in the kitchen) or he crawls around the kitchen while i cook, but will usually try to climb up my leg or something crying wanting to be held.

    He wont even be held by anyone other than me or Dh without crying- god forbid i try and leave him with someone- i wouldnt even make it to the door to be called back!!!

    We go to a play group and a mothers group once a week- and even today i couldnt leave the room where they were all playing without him crying. we have been going to the playgroups for about 3 months now- he knows the other mums and kids and he is still not happy unless i am there beside him.

    I have been trying to get him to be more happy with other people, and i find he is mostly ok by himself at home- for short amounts of time, but we have made no headway while out and about.

    Sorry i have no ideas how to help you- just sympathising with you!!

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Apr 2009

    Thanks for the replies. I have booked her into daycare to start two weeks before I start work and I am going to go in there and visit for an hour or so for two weeks before that. So hopefully DD will make a connection with one of the ladies there.