Lea - DD has been having her share of tantics lately.
I follow the theories of Triple P parenting (postitive parenting).

If she refuses food (which she does lately - or only wants it if it is from my plate and fork!!!) i will ignore her tantrums and give her 5 minutes then offer her her plate and fork back. If she then throws it across the table i tell her that she is finished and may leave the highchair. I take her bib off and put her on the floor. She is usually scream and come to me and put her head on my lap cryingbut i ignore her.

When she stops screaming i ask her if she would like her dinner again - put her back in her chair with the bib on and offer one more time (we have a 2 times then nothing rule here). If again she refuses then that is it. We finish. Ignore her and she generally will stop or walk off to the playroom. She doesnt get offered other food or treats as this is just rewarding her bad behaviour.

As for the tantrums in general. These have increased with the birth of DS (i am assuming it is probably the same with nixon too). I try to involve her as much as i can. She can sit with me and touch DS (I dont make him untouchable as this just frustrates her more). but when she kicks or hits me or her i pick her up and place her away from me and say - ' no we dont hit thats naughty' and then i say give me a kiss... and kiss ethan then give her a hug and try again.

I have been starting time out (only for about 30seconds) in a boring corner on the room ... then telling her what she did wrong and what she should be doing then getting her to say sorry (honestly i have no idea if she understands me... but hey it is worth a try -) then i give her a hug and kiss and she can go play again.

Not really having tantis in public yet as i havent been out much since DS was born !lol!

But Lea i fyou are ever over my way and need some support drop in! ashley and nixon can play (nixon can climb over everything again lol)