Why does my 8 month old scream when tired?

[Renee_AW]

My 8 mth old DS screams when he is tired. He starts screaming after the yawns & eye rubbing and when we are heading to bed. He screams while putting on his sleeping bag, while I am cuddling him, when in bed & being comforted and can do so for up to an hour. He does this for my husband also. He does it when we are out & he gets tired too & there is no way to comfort him.

He has done it almost his whole life except for a short period between 6-7 mths where he self settled for most day sleeps but still screamed for night sleeps.

We use routine, we don't leave him to cry for more than a minute & comfort him until he is very calm or asleep.

The problem is I am at the end of my ability to deal with it. I was rocking him in my arms crying this morning & trying to comfort him to the sound of my sobs. I don't know what to do.

I don't understand why he finds going to sleep so awful & wish I could change that for him.

[jackrose]

It is a horrible sound to hear, nothing worse than having your little one so upset and be unable to comfort...and when it is ongoing it can undo the best of us...

Maybe he is overtired and screaming is his release of tension.

If you can, try to put him down for sleeps when he shows the first signs of being tired. Way before yawning and rubbing eyes, look for things like him crawling over to you after happily playing by himself for a while. Becoming clumsy is another one that is easily missed. I have found that if I catch these early signs i can get DD down much easier.

X

[Roryrory]

I'm with Jackrose - often with babies, by the time they yawn they are over-tired (like those ads for Gatorade - if you're thirsty you're already dehydrated). There is a really good book which uses gentle methods called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Robyn Pantley. From memory it suggests keeping a diary of your babies sleep and behaviour patterns so you can try to see some common threads in their reactions. Kinda like you would with a newborn - try to watch him and learn what he is trying to communicate. I know with my kids they have all been different, with Rose now I know when she gets glassy eyed she is tired. She rarely yawns if ever. If I let it get past that stage she starts laughing and being really animated, but it is a pretty slippery slope to her being really jittery (to the point where she almost shakes at noise and stimulation).
Poor love you will get some relief soon - if there is one constant with babies it is that they are always changing HTH

[BellyBelly]

I'm also in agreeance - you have to get the sleep routine going you see those first signs of tiredness, he definitely sounds overtired. That said, even Pinky McKay would support some parents who would follow the cues, but the babe would still scream for a bit then sleep. So focus on the cues and see how that takes you.

Baby Cues - What Is My Baby Saying?

[Renee_AW]

It is possible he is overtired as he can be up for 3.5 hours & not show any signs of tiredness. Only sometimes he yawns, rubs his eyes or pulls his ears or he sometimes gets grizzly - not all of the time which makes it difficult to know when to put him to bed.

Sometimes I just take a chance & read him some books & then he will start to yawn (this is what happened today after 3 hours awake). it took 35 mins to go to sleep.

I don't understand though how I got this right for about a month & now I would get it wrong for every sleep?

[Renee_AW]

It also upsets me a lot that after 8 months with my beautiful miracle baby I may not even understand the simple need for sleep. If I am missing this what else am I missing?

[BellyBelly]

Babies change their patterns all the time! He may also be going through a wonder week - you might want to look it up. It's a brilliant book! But it's not about you not knowing what you should know. We don't know this stuff anymore, as we don't grow up communally and see our mothers and others raise their children, we don't participate and we don't help... because society is so very different to how it was planned! So therefore we don't learn and beat ourselves up when we don't know...

Be kind to yourself and get onto Pinky McKays work (loads of her articles on BB on the main site) who does lots of stuff with sleep and cues. Good luck!

[Renee_AW]

Thanks Kelly, I have read lots of Pinky McKay & have her book Sleeping Like a Baby. I will look at it all again.

You are absolutely right about community & with a baby who screams so much when tired it is very difficult to get involved with other Mums when most activities are around sleep time. We went to Mummy Group yesterday which started at 11am but due to DS sleep we didn't arrive until just after 12. It was at someones house & they were in the back garden. I stood at the fence shouting 'hello' etc for about 5 mins before giving up. I didn't have anyones phone no. with me either. Totally deflated we drove to the beach for a coffee....but I couldn't sit & relax because I felt bad about having DS contained for his entire awake time. A very isolating experience.