Becoming Enduring Power of Attorney for my mother.

[nickle730]

Hi Calluna, In order to become your mother's EPOA she would either have to agree to it or be deemed mentally incompetent. In order to have a mental health assessment, she would have to agree or be made an Involuntary Patient which deems that she is a risk to herself. She does not have to cooperate with the mental health assessment, but it is fairly difficult to have a person with no recorded history of mental health problems made an IP - and rightfully so. In order to force your mum to submit to a MHA you would need to have Medical Power of Attorney, but again she must agree or be deemed incompetent. Does your mum have a recognised mental health illness?

I understand why you are concerned, but ultimately it is your mother's money to spend and she can spend it however she pleases. I would suggest that you sit down with your mum and discuss your concerns. Unfortunately, if she is not willing to discuss the issue with you I don't think there is a great deal you can do.

I think it's very kind of you to want to do the right thing by your mum, I hope she will listen to reason!

[glenny_c]

Calluna,

nickle730 has explained it really well. You can't do it unless she agrees or she gets declared mentally incompetent. From what you have said, I think it would be highly unlikely that she would be declared mentally incompetent. She may be making silly choices but at the end of the day they are hers to make. While I think it is lovely that you want to help your mother, and in your shoes I would be tearing my hair out and wanting to do something too, I'm not sure it's up to you to "fix" your mother. Your mother and brother are both legally adults. They are old enough to live off their own decisions. If she had minor children in her care there's other things you could do but they could get very ugly and you might end up destroying your relationship with your mother.

I can't imagine she will take kindly if you try and have her mentally assessed without her permission? I think you should try talking to her. Suggest she give the majority of money to you for safekeeping perhaps? Good luck honey. what a tough position to be in. The other thing I wanted to say though is that I have learnt through recent events in my own family that your energy should be spent on your family- your partner and kids. Looking after your mum sounds like it could be a full time job? Do you really want to take energy away from your family? I say that though through very jaded eyes.